Give it some Heart

As of October 2010, loyal readers of SubPlease will need to adjust their body clocks slightly - either that or I stay up until ungodly hours blogging away - as these reports will be coming all the way from Australia.

Since the time difference will play havoc with my addiction, with all English and European games kicking off some time in the early morning, I have been seeking an alternative; and I'm pleased to say I've found it.

The Australian Football League is this season expanding to welcome a new team. On the lookout for someone local to latch on to, I immediately thought this seems like fate - me a new resident, them a new team.

The fact that they play in red and white stripes practically clinched it - then they reveal an away kit to be exactly the same as the new Southampton kit for 2010/11 and I was sold. Euphoria was reached when I learnt that one of their permitted overseas star players was...wait for it...Gerald Sibon.

Yep, that Gerald Sibon - Sheff Wed reject Gerald Sibon. Already, I love this team.


There is just one sticking point however.
My new team, my second team, the ones that I guarantee you will all learn to love as together we share the ups and (presumably more often) the downs of their debut season, has a name that is straight from the pages of BT's HR department.

Melbourne Heart.

Ooh, intimidating. Apparently other such fearsome monikers as Melbourne Koalas, Melbourne Totes Toasties, Melbourne Tub of Ben n Jerrys and Melbourne Big Cup of Hot Chocolate were thrown out for this airy fairy choice: nice, sweet, non confrontational.

Surely to God the players from Central Coast Mariners, whom the Heart face in their opening fixture next week, will be looking to smash into them from the opening whistle. On the plus side form the bloggers point of view the potential for puns is endless.

Stay tuned, it's going to be a tough ride I think.

A mixed bag of ramblings

All around, dust gathers...a lone owl screeches in the distance...the single, tired, bell tolls as a ball of tumbleweed rolls by on the limp, deathly breeze. A figure emerges, crawling through the desolation, looking weak, starved and desperate.

It is Pre-Season in the Blogosphere.

A bleak time, a barren time - a time in which to survive is to fight and scrap for every little morsel. Looking for something, anything that is actually interesting enough to write about and keep your loyal band of readers satisfied.

Thankfully, having bided (bade? bode? bidezela'ed?) my time, I've been inspired by a few scraps in the football world, so here, emerging like a shining mirage in this otherwise deserted land, is the latest from Sub Please.

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The Guardian reported that Portsmouth FC have only listed 14 first team players in their squad to take on life in the Championship in a fortnight's time. You might expect a Southampton fan to find this hilarious and indulge in some good old-fashioned schadenfreude - but given the recent tribulations of the Saints it would be short-sighted to do so. Instead, I'm bringing this topic up as a point of debate on another issue.

How in the name of all that is holy does Harry Redknapp get away with it?!

Apparently you can leave a trail of financial devastation behind you at every turn; come out with at-best xenophobic (at worst downright racist) conclusions about foreign players; gain a reputation as a wheeler-dealer by selling something then later buying it back; forge a career in the modern game by 'putting an arm round his shoulder' and look like a melted plastic fish - and no one in the media will bat an eyelid.

Quite how no-one links the mess at West Ham, Southampton and Portsmouth to the one common factor is beyond me and if 'Ol 'Appy 'Arry weren't so 'accomodating to the press, I am certain he would have nowhere near the leeway he does. No doubt that getting Tottenham to fourth place and potentially the promised land of the Champions League was a decent achievement - but let's not kid ourselves, the man spent an absolute fortune in doing it.

All you have to do is make sure the journo lads get a few beers, maybe the odd round of golf, and a few titbits of gossip here and there (but keep it under your hat mate, ya know) and you apparently get away with it.

A foreign manager with the same trail of destruction would have been hounded out of the country years ago. No-one in their right mind advocates the brainless sensationalism of the tabloids, but it would be nice if they turned the focus onto Harry every now and then.

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Yesterday, England's Under 19 side were beaten by Spain, 3-1, in the semi final of the European Championship. No big disgrace, no shame, etc. But the gulf in class should be (and hopefully is) sending shudders through the corridors of the FA. The quality, technique, creativity and invention in the Spanish side is on another planet to the strong physical 'Ave It' approach of the English - and this mirrors the debacle of the senior team in South Africa.

Wake Up.

We are not good enough, we ruin footballers from about age 8 onwards with this insistence on playing on massive pitches and putting such focus on winning games.

If something is not put in place now to encourage a new approach, a wave of new coaches, and an altogether different outlook on how and why football should be played; as Jimmy Hill famously once said, 'We'll go on getting bad results'
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Is it just me, or is this the most boring transfer talk Summer ever? Where are the bombshells, the how on Earth did they get him shocks, the 'OMG I so totally can't believe he just did that' moves to bitter rivals? Surely the Premier League needs something spectacular to happen, to drum up some enthusiasm for the new season after the World Cup hangover.

Use the comments below to predict your biggest Summer shock. I'm going for a Rooney/Torres swap deal...

Purgatory

One week after the World Cup final, and the close season withdrawal symptoms are starting to really take hold now.

Football is a drug and like any addict, the longer you go without a fix, the more desperate you start to become. Something, anything, just give me some football man, just one, please, I need a hit...

Transfer sagas, pre-season friendlies, new kits being released, ESPN Classic - all of these serve to keep the level of football in the blood at just about the level required to avoid slipping into a coma; but by Christ don't you just wish the season would hurry up and start already?!

Like the desperate junkie who ends up drinking methylated spirits just to try and get a buzz from it, I've found myself turning to alternate options...this is not easy for me to confess, but...

I've even tried watching golf.

I know. It's disgusting and I'm ashamed, but I was going out of my mind. Where's Soccer Saturday? Please Jeff, come back, I need you. Admittedly this year's Open was a bit of a procession, but even in a tense golfing situation I still find myself thinking...if Happy Gilmore was here this would be so much better.

There really is no substitute for live, meaningful football, and I for one cannot wait for August 7th.

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On the way into work today I walked past a window cleaner, complete with ladder, squeegee, the works. Unmistakably a window cleaner. Ask a child to draw 'window cleaner' and they would have drawn this bloke.
Turns out I was wrong. The back of his overalls revealed to the world that in fact he was a 'Vision Enhancement Engineer'

With the ever-increasing business influence on the world of football, surely it is only a matter of time before these ridiculously overstated job roles are prevalent throughout.
Torres, Drogaba et al will be 'Objective Realisation Specialists', trying to slot the ball past a host of 'Loss Prevention Engineers'. The Makelele holding midfield role will become the Spherical Retention role whilst Rory Delap is known for his Manual Projectile Targeted Delivery attributes .

All of the action will be discussed on Match of the Day by an expert team of 'State-the-bleeding-obvious Consultants' You know it's coming, it's inevitable.
Quite how the corporate image brigade will find a description for Emile Heskey remains to be seen. 'Space Occupier'? 'Expert Provider of Opposition Goal Kick Requirements'? 'Ball Rebound Specialist'? 'Useless Donkey'? We shall see.

The SubPlease Awards: WC2010

Ok, take two, lesson is: always save your work

Goal of the Tournament:

Siphiwe Tshabalala for South Africa v Mexico. The first strike of the tournament and one that for me was never topped. Van Bronckhorst, Forlan, Tevez and Ozil all managed to spank it in from long range, but Tshabalala's strike was just unstoppable. The build up play was excellent and he could not have hit the ball any sweeter - the keeper had no chance and if the net weren't there the ball would still be rising. The moment the ball found the top corner, Cape Town erupted - and the bloke who jumped on me at the time is presumably still drunk.

The OMG award for Most Dramatic Moment:

The last few minutes of Uruguay v Ghana. Suarez had to do what he did - but the fact that the penalty was missed, and the shots of his jubilant celebrations at the time really left a sour taste. Surely when the ball is about to go in and is blocked illegally on the line, there should be a penalty goal award? The moment that Asamoah Gyan rattled the bar, you just knew it was not going to be for the Black Stars - but it created such drama that will be remembered for years.

The how the f*ck did you miss that Award:

During our time in Cape Town we visited an ostrich farm, where the tour guide introduced us to Stevie, the blind ostrich. Bless him, Stevie can't see where the food is that you try and feed him, so he just pecks the air and hopes it has food in it. What the tour guide didn't tell us however is that Stevie is also a FIFA approved linesman, and was on duty for the Germany v England second round match. It is the only logical explanation for how Frank Lampard's shot - a clear yard over the line - was missed.

Game of the Tournament:

Germany v Argentina, Quarter Final. The Argentinians boasted such power in attack that it was difficult to see how Germany could contain the likes of Messi, Tevez, Aguero, Higuain et al. They did, and then some. The 4-0 win for Germany was as close to perfection in terms of an all-round team performance as you will ever see. Disciplined and professional; but with a flair and panache that no other team matched - the fourth goal was a work of art. The most efficient, ruthless and clinical breakway goal you'll ever see - Klose's finish had the entire footballing world standing up to take notice of this bright young German team.

The Madeleine McCann tribute award:

Given to the player most guilty of going missing without a trace, this year's recipient is none other than England's bright hope: Wayne Rooney. His touch was awful, his pace was sluggish, his mood was defeatist and he never got going at all. That's two tournaments now for Rooney without a goal to his name, and the next time he plays in a World Cup he will be 28. The most frustrating thing is that you just know come August he'll be soaring for United. Massively disappointing.

Player of the Tournament:

This World Cup has not been dominated by any one individual. Sneijder, Forlan and Villa all stood out through their goalscoring exploits - Forlan in particular in an unfancied Uruguay side. Ozil and Schweinsteiger provided a good deal of creativity - but all four semi finalists got there on the back of solid teamwork. The best team ultimately won, and it stands to reason to give this award to their best player. That man is Xavi Hernandez. He is so pivotal to that team, and to Barcelona, as he just does everything so right. His vision is incomparable and his touch is outrageous. Tick follow tock follow tick follow tock follow tick.

The Zidane Headbutt Award:

Every World Cup ends up with one defining image. The football at times was frustratingly dull and prosaic, with teams too fearful of defeat. The final was a physical affair that was not a classic. The thing on everyone's lips (quite literally) during this tournament was the Vuvuzela. I think the defining image from WC2010 will be of fans blowing brightly coloured Vvuuvzelas and pissing off billions...erm I mean bringing a unique flavour and atmosphere to the tournament.

Actually screw that, what am I on about. Blatantly the key memory of this one is none other than Paul the psychic Octopus. He is awesome. He got everything right. All Hail Paul.

The Curse of the Swoosh

Much has been written about the supposed curse of the ‘Write your Future’ Nike ad that premiered in the build-up to the World Cup. As the tournament wore on, it did become ever more compelling to believe that in fact every single player featured in the advert was jinxed in some manner, destined to a life of growing beards and living in caravans. Jalal Saleem, loyal SubPlease reader (and legendary dancer) got in touch very early on to highlight this phenomenon, and suggested it might well be blogworthy.

As further stars of the advert crashed out of the competition, the evidence was too strong to ignore; so in true journalistic fashion, SubPlease has investigated right to the very core of the matter, to finally answer the riddle of:

THE CURSE OF THE SWOOSH

In 1994, after a commercially successful and extremely well-attended World Cup in their heartland of the USA, Nike decided to ramp up their activities in the beautiful game. Long had Nike followed the strategy of focussing marketing activities on key sporting figures; many of you will have owned a pair of Air Jordan’s at some point in the 90’s. Pete Sampras, Tiger Woods, Roger Federer – superstars of their sport made even more stellar by the aggressive branding from their sponsor.

This ‘personality-based’ approach carried over when they stepped up efforts in the football world. Notable early campaigns include the ‘Parklife’ ad which featured the likes of Seaman, Wright and Cantona turning out on Hackney Marshes; the ‘Good vs Evil’ football match from Hell (“Au Revoir”) and also the ‘Ninja’ campaign featuring an outrageously cool Edgar Davids, who incidentally is presumably not about to add James Corden to his phonebook.

Things really became iconic however in the lead up to the 1998 World Cup in France. A group of tired, frustrated footballers sit in an airport, waiting for a delayed flight. One of them breaks out a football, and as anyone who has tried the whole ‘say bomb in the airport it will be well funny’ thing knows – airport security guards are humourless androids. The Brazilian squad then proceed to evade capture whilst showing off their lovely Nike training kit and their even lovely silky skills. A classic advert for sure; and the first to associate ‘Mas Que Nada’ with the samba football of the Brazilians.

The campaign for 2002 was the ‘Scorpion Tournament’. A selection of 24 players playing 3 on 3 in a cage inside a tanker, hosted by Eric the King. This campaign used a number of small clips to show the development of the tournament, and again showed off some fantastic skills resplendent in beautiful Nike footwear and training gear.

2006 took the viral marketing approach, renegades extolling the virtues of ‘Joga Bonito’ or Play Beautiful. Cantona again, this time sporting a rugged beard and long hair (he really is a legend isn’t he? So cool. Did somebody say man crush?) Again they used a number of different small clips ranging from street soccer avec Monsieur Henry, to an inspiring and emotional focus on Il Fenomeno himself, Ronaldo.

And so we come to this year – the big budget uber-production of ‘Write your Future’. In a previous blog the ad was discussed, and the 2010 curse is examined in detail in an excellent piece from the New York Times. This article is looking further, so let’s rewind back to the airport…

1998 Nike ad

This fantastic, humorous and iconic advert really sticks in the memory. When viewing it through the Curse Hunter glasses however, it takes on an ominous darkness. One of the first players to really feature? Romario. Maybe he missed his flight, but he sure as hell was not even at the tournament. Cursed.

Next up, Denilson – great stepovers, quick feet, cheeky grin...a handful of minutes from the sub bench and one token start in a meaningless game. The final scene of the advert however is where the curse really starts to reveal it’s frightening power. Ronaldo, the boy wonder, the best player in the world, is through to score in the departure gate, cheered on by a willing crowd. He hits the post, and ends up wincing. Bright start and then diasappointing end? A complete and eerie parody of his ultimately ill-fated tournament.

This all focuses on one team, who but for the curse striking their best player could well have been world champions, so it’s nothing for the rest of the footballing world to take seriously, right? Well.

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2002 Nike Ad

Roll on 2002, and it was an absolutely stellar line-up for the Secret Tournament. Footballers from around the globe, no way the curse can get them all. Full line-up details are linked here but read on for the chilling power of the Curse...

Triple Espresso: Cursed (Henry crashed out at the group stage, Totti sent off in the second round)

The Onetouchables: Cursed (Vieira in the groups, Van Nistelrooy never made it, Scholes couldn’t tackle Ronaldinho)

Toros Locos: Cursed (Saviola out in groups, Luis Enrique dropped from Spain team)

Cerberus: So, so Cursed (Davids never even got there, the other two Frenchmen went out in the groups)

Os Tornados: Miracle!! Curse breakers!! The Brazilians won the tournament (the real tournament)

Funk Seoul Brothers: Also curse breakers on account of having Brazilians!

Tutto Bene: Mixed – Rio did well, the other two most certainly did not

Equipo del Fuego: Massively cursed, Lopez and Crespo didn't even get through the group.

By now, footballers signed up to Nike surely felt an icy chill down their spine each time their agent would say ‘I’ve got you another advert with Nike’. It appears that this curse has been going for far longer than a couple of months this Summer, and it doesn;t just pick one team or one player, it can wipe out anyone. But what effect would it have in 2006, the Joga Bonito year?

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Nike Ad 2006

Of the different clips, various ones featured on individual players; but a largely prevalent factor throughout was La Selecao – the Brazilian national team. Who crashed out of the tournament at the earliest stage since 1990. This is starting to get spooky. Maybe the curse gave them a year off in 02 out of sheer pity...?

Ronaldinho had his own feature, and arguably the curse has never released him. Going into the tournament as the world’s best player, he looked sluggish, frustrated and not his Joga Bonito self. He didn’t even score a goal. Since 2006, having had 2 years as the undisputed number one, he has failed to return to his peak, and missed the 2010 tournament altogether. Brutal.

Rooney also had his own feature, ironically straying horribly out of position to the detriment of his team, how unlike Wayne I hear you cry. He exited the tournament having squashed his own brand of Portuguese grape wine – Cursed.

There is some light here though. A glint of hope, that can bring us back from the very brink of despair.

In the Joga Bonito campaign, Ronaldo had a feature, in which Cantona simply introduces this maestro to the world. Although Brazil on the whole did not sparkle, Ronaldo became the all-time leading scorer at World Cup finals, scoring twice and making history. Surely he must consider 2006 to be a Curse-Breaker, particularly following on from his excellent 2002...could it be that players can escape the Curse?

Furthermore Henry – the scorer of the goal that compounded the Brazilian 2006 Curse – can claim to have had a successful time, reaching the final and coming up short only on penalties, exceeding pre-tournament expectations.

Rolling forward to the much-discussed 2010 curse and again SubPlease is here to bring you the good news, the uplifting news, the hope in this darkest of times.

The curse can be beaten.

He may only feature in the advert for about 0.8 seconds, he may be nowhere near a football pitch, he may be a mere speck in the peripheral vision of the viewer, but one man has striven against all the odds to beat this fiendish curse, and give hope to all Nike-sponsored players out there…

Andres Iniesta.

World Cup Winner, European Champion, Curse Buster.

Iniesta is the only man (except his Spanish colleagues, but neither of them scored the winning goal so Andy gets the focus) in the entire Write Your Future campaign who can consider his tournament to be a success, and then some. However if all of the above has taught us nothing else, it has shown that the curse can operate in cycles, just when you thought it was safe to go back on the pitch it will destroy you again. Iniesta my friend, and all professional footballers reading this (presumably loads) there is only one cure for the Curse of the Swoosh:

http://www.adidas.com/uk/homepage.asp

Hmm.

So, having built it up and got all excited for another chapter in the climax to the Greatest Show on Earth, it is reasonable to concede that last night's Final was not up to much.

The Netherlands had a clear game plan - albeit an ugly and savage one - but it was essentially to disrupt the contest as far as a football match was concerned. Similar to Chelsea's approach against Barcelona a year ago, the tactical set-up of the Dutch was an acknowledgement of the fact that they are not in Spain's league as far as pure footballing prowess goes. It stands to reason then that a more physical and robust approach, if it is your best chance of success, should be the one that the coach instructs his team to adopt.

It certainly doesn't make for a good spectacle though, and judging by the reaction across the internet, it has also lost the Oranje a good deal of neutral support. Many spectators will have found themselves cheering Iniesta's superbly taken late winner - again, just as they did when Barca played Chelsea in 2009 - as it represented a victory for the team that stuck far more to their footballing guns and did not resort to the fight that the Dutch were hoping for.

Spain are not exempt from criticism though, and the cynical diving, imaginary card-waving etc is in it's own way just as unpleasant to watch as the brutal assault on the ankles that Mark van Bommel and Nigel De Jong persisted in. De Jong incidentally announced last night that he is giving up football to target an appearance at London 2012 for the Dutch Tae-Kwan-Do team.

All in all it was a disappointing anti-climax to the first ever World Cup on African soil; but it would be difficult to argue that the Spaniards are not worthy winners. They will look ahead to Euro 2012 and, given the age of many of their key players, Brazil 2014, with every reason to feel optimistic about their chances.

For Holland, it may be time to sit down and reflect on whether it's better to lose playing Total Football, or lose playing Street Fighter. Either way you lose, but which feels better?

4 years in the waiting...it's here

• Zinedine Zidane dropping Materazzi with his Sonic Headbutt
• Emmanuel Petit striding through the Brazilian ranks, ponytail flying behind him, to seal it for Les Bleus
• Baggio's penalty, still rising
• Tardelli and THAT celebration
• Carlos Alberto's ludicrously perfect coup de grace to finish Italy
• Geoff Hurst and those who thought it was all over

The World Cup Final is, alongside the Olympic Men's 100m, the single most iconic, important and era-defining sporting event on the planet.

Images such as those above plus countless more are stamped indelibly on the minds of billions across the globe, and they offer the chance, once every four years, for someone to become an all-time legend.

How the players of Spain and Holland managed to sleep last night is difficult to fathom - the fact is that entire careers; entire lives, have built up to this moment. Consider Giovanni Van Bronckhorst, at 37 years of age about to wear the Oranje for the last time ever and able to look back on over 20 years of top level professional football - and yet nothing has ever been as big as this for Gio; or any of the 22 to take the field in a few short hours at Soccer City.

The unfortunate truth for Van Bronckhorst and his team-mates, and something that no doubt contributed largely to any insomnia that they suffered, is that they are going up against the best national team in the world.

Spain have not dazzled at this tournament. David Villa has provided some moments of true genius, notably against Honduras and Chile; and Xavi Hernandez has been his normal imperious metronomic self - but they have yet to click in the devastating manner that defined their Euro 2008 odyssey.

Despite this, they go into the match as favourites at odds of slightly better than evens, which suggests the bookies completely agree with Paul.

The fundamental reason why Holland should worry is that Spain know they have not dazzled. They know they have not looked as fluent as they can. They know that they have struggled to find a way through. They know they have been frustrating to watch.

But they know it doesn't matter.

The only people involved in Wednesday night's semi final that were not exasperated by the failure of Spain to break down a solid German defence for over an hour, were the ones wearing red shirts. The innate confidence in their ability to find a way through, and the absolute faith in their system of passing, moving, 'tiki-taka' football has so far proved completely valid, they have made it this far without having to really step it up.

The Dutch players have made the right noises about frustrating them, shutting them down, making it uncomfortable - this all seems like the right way to prevent la Furio Roja having it all their way...but fundamentally it just might not be enough.

Holland have enjoyed a fair slice of luck throughout this tournament, and it will take a big dollop more for them to be celebrating tonight. Despite the odds however, the stage is set, and any one of the 22 players could be about to take the step into immortality.

Let's hope for a classic game and some moments that will forever date stamp wherever you are tonight and whoever you're with in your memory for the rest of your life. Bring it on.

Me and Paul...we tight.

Spineless.

Slimy.

Too Hands-On.

A recent night out in Croydon led to me being called all of these things. And it just serves to show how much me and good old Paul the Psychic Octopus or PsychoPus as I prefer to call him have in common.

Paul (the media whore) has been happily taking all the limelight, despite the fact that he can't even type let alone write a well-structured article, leaving Joe Bloggs* here to succesfully predict results to the credit of no-one but his die hard band of readers.

My successful prediction of a Holland Spain final leaves me with a slight feeling of satisfaction but a stronger feeling of regret that I failed to back myself at the bookies. Stay tuned (is that appropriate terminology in cyberspace?) for my World Cup Final Preview, coming very soon.

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*My best pun yet?
Arguably the alcohol is having a strong bias, but come on...'Joe Bloggs'...and it's a 'Blog'...freaking brilliant. And all that within one paragraph of 'PsychoPus'. FourFourTwo, I await your call...

It's massive...but it's only a semi

This article saves you the hard work and long slog of sitting through yet more bloody football, by revealing exactly who will progress through to Sunday's World Cup final. Read on for expert analysis, statistical interpretation and downright bullshit to see just where the trophy could be going...

Uruguay
Why it will be them
In reaching this stage, Uruguay have surpassed pre-tournament expectations. They have shown through resolute defending and frightening power up front that they will pose a threat to any team. The extraordinary circumstances of their penalty victory over Ghana - in particular Abreu's confidence at chipping the deciding penalty -hinted at a team playing without fear and with a strong siege mentality. They will feel it is just written that they emulate the achievements of their distant predecessors.

Why it won't be them
Sooner or later in football, a team that is punching above it's weight will come unstuck. Whether this is through luck running out, or simply meeting an opponent better than you. Andy Murray struggles, in that his level at tennis seems to be just short of that required to ultimately win a Grand Slam event. Uruguay will find that the World Cup semi finals represents the zenith of thier abilities.
Without the villainous/heroic Luis Suarez, the Dutch can place more focus on the ever dangerous Diego Forlan. Nullifying him will blunt the Urguayan threat - and the absence of the commanding Diego Lugano in defence will have Arjen Robben and Wesley Sneijder smiling.

Holland
Why it will be them
This edition of the Oranje just win games, simple as that. The only team with a 100% record that extends all the way back to the start of qualifying, the Dutch have proved themselves like the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park who weren't supposed to be mating...they find a way. In Wesley Sneijder, excelling in his playmaker role and enjoying the finest 6 months of his career, they have one of the players of the year. A rejuvenated Arjen Robben, rested for the start of the competition, has defenders worried every time they got the ball.
Oh, and they have Dirk Kuyt.

Why it won't be them
Robin Van Persie's outburst at the manager on being substituted hinted at that most Dutch of problems - unrest within the camp. an already unsettled squad will only be becoming more fractious with the incredible pressure of not only reaching a semi final, but going into it as favourites.
Brazil were cruising until a fortunate mix-up gave Holland a lifeline - but until then the Dutch defence had looked vulnerable - something Diego Forlan will have observed with interest.
Oh, and they have Dirk Kuyt.

Germany
Why it will be them
Well, it always bloody is, isn't it?! Their World Cup record is peerless, they just know how to excel when it comes to the big show. They have been the outstanding team of the 2010 tournament, and in destroying an Argentina side with an embarassment of riches they were even more impressive than when humiliating a woeful England. 13 goals scored so far highlights a potency in attack that no-one can match; while only 2 conceded shows the organisation throughout the team that stifles any opponent, and makes for a defence that are masters of frustration. Ozil, Muller, Schweinsteiger and arguably Klose are all absolute nailed on certainties for the team of the tournament and together there seems to be no stopping them.

Why it won't be them
Despite everything above, there is just some nagging doubt that says - but are they actually that good? England offered absolutely no resistance whatsoever, and the early Thomas Muller goal completely flummoxed Argentina. In both knock-out games, their opponent was forced to attack, leaving gaps at the back which their counter-attacking ruthlessly and spectacularly exploited. Against Spain, masters of possession football, a new approach may be needed, and it is likely that they just won't have enough. The loss of Thomas Muller to suspension places a burden on the shoulders of Lukas Podolski, who may still be haunted by his Serbia horror show.

Spain
Why it will be them
David Villa. Fernando Torres. Xavi Hernandez. Andres Iniesta. Xabi Alonso.
The list above could pass off as a list of '5 of the best players in Europe right now' but is merely Spain's likely choice of attackers to start on Wednesday. They play a brand of football that no-one can touch. David Villa is utterly lethal and seems destined to claim the 2010 golden boot to complete the pair with his 2008 one already secured. Torres has not even got going yet and if/when he does, is one of the best strikers in the world. THEY DON'T EVEN PLAY CESC FABREGAS. This squad is ludicrously talented; despite wobbles and late winners they still look to have another gear or two to slot into when they need to.

Why it won't be them
'Knock knock.'
'Who's there?'
'The massive weight of national expectation and the unbearable pressure of being the favourites who have to win and win in style just like in Euro 2008.'
'Go away'

Spain have been looking towards this tournament since early July 2008, when they finally overcame the tag of perennial underachievers and claimed the crown of European Champions. Everyone has expected them to dominate in every game, blow teams away and produce moments of glorious skill and brilliance. So far, they are getting there - but no-one would say they are firing on all cylinders. Does this show a nervousness or does it in fact show that they are peaking at the right time and getting the job done thus far?
Also, arguably, football does not work like Spain want it to. The Total Football of the Dutch in the 70's went unrewarded. Brazil's dazzling play in 98 was ultimately not good enough. Newcastle's cavaliers in 96 came unstuck. The best team playing the best football with the best players rarely win the trophy - there is a reason why Brazil 1970 is so revered 40 years on.

CONCLUSION
OK, neck on the line, so far I've been spectacularly wrong so here we go. The final will be:

Holland v Spain

Ghana Gone-a

Yesterday World Cup 2010 delivered two games of excitement, tension and no shortage of drama.

In the first quarter final, Holland and Wesley Sneijder used their heads whilst all about them in blue were losing theirs. Relatively comfortable at 1-0, Brazil were rocked by a sloppy equaliser and left completely reeling by the set-piece second shortly after. The Brazilian response was frustrated, ill-tempered and ultimately insufficient - giving a stark reminder that no matter how much a team may be cruising and in control - 1 goal is only 1 goal. If Brazil had found a second - and they had chances - it would most likely have been the semi finals for them.

Instead they return home to lick their wounds for four years. As hosts in 2014, and having fallen at the last eight twice running, they will be under incredible pressure but also a team to fear.

The second match saw possibly the greatest imbalance in terms of neutral support in the history of the competition. Find someone who was cheering for Uruguay last night, and brother you've found yourself a Uruguayan. The media coverage across the globe gave almost 100% focus to the Ghanaian team who carried with them not only the support of every African, but also almost every football fan the world over.

South Korea in 2002 enjoyed a great deal of support but also some favourable refereeing which perhaps tainted this. Ghana had reached the quarter finals through hard work, guts and good football - even without their talismanic leader and by far best player, Michael Essien.

The game was tense, evenly matched and both sides had chances to win it. The only real chance that will be remembered for ever more however was literally the last kick of the ball, after 120 minutes.

Poor, poor Asamoah Gyan. The classic case of a player who uses the shop window of the World Cup to raise his own profile and turn heads the world over, the penalty gave him the chance to not only take his country to the semi finals for the first time ever for an African side; but also to draw level with Villa and Higuain on 4 goals.

In rattling the bar, surely the watching world knew that the game was up for Ghana. To go into the penalty shoot-out with such a reprieve, the momentum that was with Uruguay was always likely to carry them through. Full credit must go to Gyan for the incredible guts to step up and take - and score - the first penalty; however it counted for nothing in the end.

The villain of the piece, Luis Suarez, should be seen as a hero in Uruguay.

He has been labelled a cheat, but in the circumstances he had to do what he did. There was no doubt about the handball, clearly it was intentional and he knew exactly what he was doing - but he also knew why he was doing it. To sacrifice himself, missing the semi final and perhaps ending his own tournament is a personal price to pay but for the greater good of his country surviving, it was completely worth it. Any player in that situation should do exactly what Suarez did, and to label him a cheat is harsh. Perhaps he should cancel that trip to Accra though.

At the time of writing, Germany lead Argentina 1-0 at half time after a pulsating, end-to-end battle which still hangs very much in the balance and has been compelling viewing. Now that the tournament is reaching the business end, the games are fewer but the drama just keeps on coming...

An audience with BT's finest

Yesterday, BT announced that it's BT Vision service would begin carrying the Sky Sports 1 and Sky Sports 2 channels, offering viewers Premiership football at a lower price than a Sky subscription. Still crap service and rubbish signal mind you, but whatever. To launch this in grand style, they held a Q&A session at BT Centre - hosted by Martin Keown and featuring Premiership stars Shay Given, Gareth Bale and Michael Owen.

The three players arrived looking extremely tanned and well rested; one can only assume hoilidays were not spent at Butlins or, as is Roy Hodgson's preference apparently, Wales.

The session was refereshingly open, the players were relaxed and gave honest answers, and the audience displayed a decent and reassuring level of football knowledge - only one complete loser submitted a question via the web that had anything to do with BT. They remained anonymous but those on the inside had a strong idea whom it may have been. Below I have captured some of the main points of interest from the session:

Shay Given is fully in support of video technology and pointed out that the length of time he and his team-mates spent protesting Monsieur Henry's manual intervention was without doubt longer than the time it would have taken to confirm the indiscretion. He confessed that he found some solace in the French demise - but knows that he will probably never play in another World Cup. He also admitted that he was looking forward to returning to St James' and apparently has Geordie kids!

Gareth Bale was noticeably quieter and more reserved, although in the company of such senior, more experienced and media savvy colleagues this is understandable. Perhaps not the best way to kick off with "Well, these lot are much older than me" though mate!! Gareth was asked about the turn-around in his performances this season and suggested that the key factor was simply being given an extended run in the team. Confidence breeds success, success breeds confidence I suppose. He did stick a knife through my heart when he said it was the turning point of his whole career, when I thought that playing for the Saints would have been the peak.

The polished, confident and 'I've done this millions of times before' vibe really shone through from Michael Owen - not in a negative way at all, just that he seemed completely comfortable in the role, and was entertaining and affable. He was asked about Javier Hernandez, the new Man United signing who had impressed for Mexico in the World Cup. Michael's view was that since there are only perhaps 6 truly elite players in the world game, none of whom are realistically obtainable, it is completely the right strategy to go for relatively untried youth. He was honest enough to accept that the gamble does not always pay off (no names of course but you can draw your own conclusions as to who he might be referring to at Utd) and did not seem concerned about the prospect of competition.

Another point that Owen made, which I found refreshingly honest, was when asked by a Liverpool fan if he feels something bordering on shame when he sees himself in a United strip. He explained quite frankly that for footballers, this is their profession, their living - so emotional attachment to clubs does not take the same form as it does for fans. As a child he supported Everton, but says now that he will always hold a special affection for Liverpool due to time and memories there - but when it comes to decisions about his playing career, emotion/rivalry/allegiance does not and cannot come into it. In fairness, Owen could have used the standard line of well we're all fans too and love our clubs, but earned the respect of the audience (well me anyway) by being so matter of fact.

The compere for the event went up in my estimation no end. Martin Keown was funny, relaxed, articulate, outspoken and extremely professional. He spoke out on his views about England's failed campaign - he believes the 4-4-2 as used by England was too rigid and archaic. Furthermore he suggested that Capello should shoulder a significant slice of the blame for failing to get the best out of the players, and this brought him to a point which I found interesting. He was strongly of the opinion that to take such a hard-line disciplined approach with the players (a la Capello) is incorrect, and the players need support and "to feel loved". The players supported this, with Bale agreeing that Redknapp excels here and Owen agreeing that it can be key.

Surely as top level professionals they should be able to 'man up' and get on with the incredible job of playing football for a living without also needing someone constantly telling them how great they are? We all enjoy having the ego rub of praise but also most of us have a job to do and get on with it despite never getting any praise* - but we don't underperform to the extent that England have just done.

(*the fact that I spend all my working life blogging and p*ssing around on the internet may or may not be a contributory factor here)

The final question to the panel related to moments they could either relive or erase, and Keown spoke amusingly but also humblingly about his spat with Ruud Van Nistelrooy. This is something that he quite clearly is deeply ashamed of and regrets massively, but he did win 'Missing Link 2003' for most accurate portrayal of an ape by a man. Every cloud.

All in all the session was massively enjoyable and I would have happily sat and talked with them for hours. Unfortunately I had to go back to my desk and 'work'. Some day...