A night in The Cove

Thursday, December 23rd, shortly before 7pm, 'The Cove'... the Northern end of Sydney Football Stadium, in front of the video screen, behind the goal. The vociferous band of loyal Sydney FC fans are joined by two excited and ever so slightly inebriated rookies.

Thus began my first ever A-League game last night, and I am pleased to say it certainly won't be my last. The football itself was, at times, disappointingly poor. A number of times a wide ball was allowed to run out of play due to a terrible poor touch, both goalkeepers struggled with the ball on the floor; and there were notably a couple of players with the penchant for 'Hollywood' long balls but without the ability to pull them off correctly, instead sending a ball flying into the stands.

The defending was solely defending with no view towards building play from the back or carrying the ball into midfield; rather relying on getting the lines cleared with a non-directional punt upfield. Finally, the incisivenes

s was lacking - a contest between two evenly matched teams was played out largely in front of both defences and neither team were readily able to produce the quality needed to break through.

That being said, it was by no means unwatchable football. The teams; Sydney FC who have struggled this year to adjust to losing some notable players, and my beloved Melbourne Heart (who have been the recipient of many of those former Sydneysiders), showed that they are clearly well-drilled professional outfits who know how to play. Both sides contained players who demonstrated notable technical ability - Sydney's South Korean left back Sung Hwan Byun in particular impressed in the early stages with a num

ber of threatening forays forward.

Having watched a reasonable amount of lower league English football in recent years I was keen to understand how this league would compare, and I think both teams would be certainly more than capable of putting a decent threat together in League One. Considering Sydney sit rock bottom of the league, and Heart are in their first season, I'd be confident in saying that the A-League's stronger teams such as Adelaide United and above all Brisbane Roar, could unsettle many of the Championship's finest. The movement, pace, physicality and technique of top flight professional teams in England would be too strong for anyone over here in my opinion - but again I must defend the A-League and reiterate that the football on display was certainly not as woeful as many had led me to suspect it might be.

The game started with Sydney piling the pressure on a Heart team playing at the SFS for the first time - pressure, but without a real threat. There were a couple of headers that flashed a couple of yards wide, and one or two deflected chances that could have gone anywhere but fell to safety, but it was the classic case of having a good spell but failing to find the goal to reward it. Heart looked happy to settle into a rhythm as the first half wore on, and strengthened sufficiently to go into the break on level pegging - both on the score sheet and in terms of the momentum of the game.

The second half began under some of the most epic purple sky ever to crown a football match - photo evidence provided below - and both sides were quick to make changes to seek the breakthrough that you felt was there for the taking. Sydney introduced star striker Nicky Carle who has been out injured and it showed, he looked sluggish and off the pace of the game. Heart removed their star man - and up till last year Sydney FC hero - Jon Aloisi and replaced him with the giant build of Gerald Sibon. Sibon struggled to impose himself on the game initially, proving himself the antithesis of the 'good touch for a big man' role. Shit touch, big man. Having taken a while to get to grips with the weird round object that people kept moving towards him, Sibon eventually grasped the concept of football that had laid dormant in his brain so many years.

As is so often the case with a cagey and well matched game, it was a mistake which sealed it. Former West Ham ranga Hayden Foxe played a ball to put Sydney Captain Terry McFlynn under pressure, he lost the ball around 25 yards from goal and Sibon demonstrated neat skill and excellent distribution to set up Adrian Zahra to slot home in the 86th minute and send the travelling Heart fans wild. All 12 of them. Honest, bless 'em, there was a brilliant little band of brothers tucked down the far end of the stadium who presumably made the trip up from Melbourne in one car and will be chuffed that they did.

The defeat was harsh on Sydney as they dominated most of the game, but as previously noted they dominated without doing enough. It's all well and good having the ball for long spells but unless you get behind the opposition defence you can't feel aggrieved if the result goes the other way. This result leaves the Sky Blues bottom of the 'ladder' and propels Heart up to 5th - although in a league with a fixture calendar as erratic as (insert erratic and hilarious pun) they are surrounded by rivals with many games in hand. The thing that will keep me coming back though is simple.

Going to football has never just been about the football, has it. If that was the case then the moment in 2005 when Southampton were relegated from a 27 year stay in the top division, I would have simply picked a new Premier League team to follow. Going to football offers so much more than watching it on TV, and it was this aspect of yesterday evening that I thoroughly enjoyed and will gladly return to.

The Cove is the behind the goal section of Sydney's hardc

ore support. Led on relentlessly by two passionate if slightly unhinged nutcases with megaphones, The Cove ran through their full repertoire of songs - far, far more than any English team that I have ever heard can boast. Admittedly this seems to be because they shamelessly rip off any and all songs they hear and tailor it to their own club, but hey, it works. The SFS is a nice, compact stadium which, although less than half full (or half empty depending on your viewpoint, misery guts) created a good atmosphere. Easy to get to, you are free to sit wherever you please in the General Admission sections, and (brace yourselves) you can drink beer in your seat. The General strolling back in the second half with a tray full of beers, that's a sight to improve anyone's demeanour, and that's why he's The General. Great fun and I'll definitely be going back. Whilst I nailed my Melbourne Heart

colours to the mast way back in August, and I refuse to mutinise my own...I have to confess that, after last night, I'll be following my local team with interest also. With the way he was putting heart and soul into it screaming premature heart attack, who knows, maybe next year they'll need a new megaphone man...
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Despite the sunshine and warm weather, I'm reliably informed that it is in fact Christmas Eve. To every one of my readers, I genuinely hope you have a brilliant Christmas and a very Happy New Year. Thanks a million for reading, every comment I ever get and every time someone reads my words, it really means a lot and I am grateful to all of you. Keep following, keep spreading the word and I'll keep spouting off on all things football. Seasons Greetings, Cheers.

"Top of the league my arse"

Oasis recorded 'Half The World Away' as a B-side to the phenomenal 'Whatever' in 1994. 16 years on and the lyrics of the tune so famously used as the soundtrack to the Royle Family could easily be ringing through the heads of City fans and most of all their captain tonight.

Carlos Tevez spent the first part of this month apparently thinking 'I would like to leave this city'. Having changed his mind in a classic Mancunian U-turn (no new contract announced yet but we'll see) he turned out for City in a home match against Everton that, with the snowmageddon across England ending most games, could have seen them top for Christmas.

The result, a 2-1 defeat to a currently lowly Everton side, could leave the fans feeling like they are 'still scratching around in the same old hole.' This City side, despite the illustrious squad and the impressive defeats of some close rivals, just don't convince me at all. I could feel the warning signs, running around my mind. They never seem to be able to produce when it really matters - games against their big city rivals, the 4th place decider against Spurs last year - the results have not been there when they are needed the most. A couple of wins against Chelsea does not a Champion make.

Although they have won few admirers this season due to Roberto Mancini's frustratingly stoic and negative tactical preferences, I find myself wanting City to threaten the elite. In a season where anything approaching excellence seems likely to be enough, and at a stage when only 3 points separates the top four so anyone can rightfully claim title credentials as a reality, I don't think it is an unreasonable expectation that Manchester City could pose a significant and longer-than-February threat to the established elite of Chelsea and United. For sheer variety it would surely be a good thing, so from that viewpoint I have been willing them on all season. Despite this hope I somehow knew that they would blow this chance.

Mancini's tactics are an easy scapegoat, but this is the man who led Inter to successive titles albeit in the Calciopoli-assisted years in Italy. Point being, his methods may frustrate but past history suggests he gets results. Blaming the players could also be an option but many of City's squad are established Premier League players to whom the pace and physicality of the league is no new thing. Indeed some of the most recent acquisitions have started to show signs of late that they are adapting well and now leading the charge - Yaya Toure is much improved and David Silva in particular has been excellent.

Maybe the key factor is simply this...it's City. Of course they are going to blow chances like Everton at home. They may well demolish teams from time to time, sort out rifts with their best player, sport the most stylish baby blue snoods you'll ever see; but even amongst this all, they are still City and with the hope and optimism comes that deep-buried malevolent whisper...'It's City, things will go wrong'.

Perhaps the most appropriate lyric to sum City's current state up from their most famous fans comes from a track on Be Here Now...'I hope, I think, I know.'

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So the day has finally come, after 2 and a half months that has seen wonder goals, a glorious derby win followed by an inglorious basterd of a defeat, hilarious own goals and an entire tabloid's worth of pun-tastic headlines...I'm finally going to watch the Melbourne Heart!
They are playing Thursday night at Sydney FC and on the back of a stunning 1-0 down on 88 minutes to finish 2-1 up win over Adelaide United, have a chance of salvaging this inaugural season. I've been told to expect little, and the crowd might not be huge so close to Chrissy as they call it over here...but I can't lie, I am excited. With my next blog I'll give a full insider view of a game in the A-League - the chants, the standard of play, whether the refs are idiots, and crucially, whether you can drink beer. I'll not sleep tonight...

Park Life

Yesterday morning, large numbers of men who work in my office strolled in slightly late and trying to look innocent, when in fact the crime we had all been guilty of was sitting downstairs watching Man United v Arsenal on the free ESPN in the food court. 'Bloody traffic' They'll never know...

The game finished in a 1-0 win that takes United two points clear at the top of the league, with a game in hand over all of their rivals to boot. They may wonder how they find themselves in such a position given that they have hardly hit full stride all year (Blackburn excepted). Watching the game, there were a few things that stood out from this bloggers perspective.

Firstly, Ji-Sung Park or Jason Park as he is more often called (by no-one other than my deluded friend who insists this is his name and admittedly I have adopted it myself) is one of football's good guys. He is clearly a player of certain limits, but at the same time he offers a number of qualities that put him arguably in the upper echelon of Premier League players. His work rate makes him a pain in the arse for opponents, and he has that Lampard knack of arriving in the box at the right time and in the right place - it is not coincidence if time and again a loose ball or deflection finds it's way to one player in particular.

The reflexive twist of his back and neck to meet the deflected ball from much improved Nani McPhee was superb and reminded me of Jurgen Klinsmann in his prime - one headed goal in France 98 in particular showed fighter pilot reactions and Park deserves considerable plaudits for his goal.

He is not and will never be a Ronaldo or Messi but every team needs it's workhorses and for me there are a lot worse players around than Jason Park.

Something else that warranted comment was the standard of football. For two teams more capable than almost every other in our country and therefore representative of the best that the Premier League has to offer, this was at times a frankly shocking display. Arsene Wenger has bemoaned the state of the pitch and claimed that it played a part in the sloppiness of the play, but it is no exaggeration to say that at times in this game there were spells of minutes in length in which neither team managed to string together more than 3 passes without losing the ball. To see players on both sides simply pass the ball out of play or direct to an opponent was quite staggering, a Sunday league team would expect to retain possession better than these two were. The contrast with the football on display by Barcelona week in week out - but more pertinently on a technical level by all teams in La Liga - was impossible to ignore. Is this really the level we are at?

One further observation and something that had me utterly dumbfounded at the time: how Darren Fletcher got away with that is beyond the comprehension of my tiny if trivia packed mind. He sprinted twenty yards, screaming profanities, and then barged into the referee Howard Webb, who must have thought he was somehow involved in his former life as a policeman being harassed by a Trainspotting skaghead. Surely to Jebus the FA will have to reprimand Fletcher as those actions were simply unacceptable and set a dangerous precedent for Sunday League refs to have to deal with if and when the snow ever melts. Players in my opinion should be booked the second they swear directly at a referee - to sprint after them, push them, and continue to act like they are withholding your fix even when pulled up about it afterwards - he does not have a leg to stand on and deserves to be sitting out for some time. Serves him right - with that much money and a job that demands physical strength and fitness he should not be looking so heroin-addled.

Arsenal can take some positives from the game in that they looked for the most part comfortable with United's threat - but they never presented a compelling enough case to make you believe they were going to worry United unduly. They still sit in a healthy position however and can go into 2011 with optimism. United meanwhile can - with a trip to Chelsea up next - build on this win and claim an unlikely title in what is turning out to be a year in which anyone could potentially win the league with a slightly decent run of form.

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League title aspirations are sadly out of the reach of Melbourne Heart this season. A terrible recent run of form including only one goal scored in the past six came to a depressing low on Saturday with a revenge win in the Melbourne derby for cross city rivals Victory. The Heart now find themselves well off the play-off pace and looking over their shoulders at the bottom three rather than at those above them. Difficult times for the club and they need a win soon - no-one expects miracles in this first season but at the same time they cannot allow this miserable run of form to ruin the excellent start that was made. Mind you, when your leading scorer and best player is Gerald Sibon, you can't expect too much.

El Tri

Tomorrow FIFA will announce the 2010 Ballon D'Or winner - they've muscled in on France Football's annual award recognising the best player in the world over the past 12 months.

In what I believe to be a first, the final three shortlisted candidates all play for the same club. Who else but those purveyors of Catalan Footballing Perfection or CFP as it isn't known: FC Barcelona.

Last year Xavi Hernandez, Andres Iniesta and Lionel Messi formed three of the top 4 - with the excellent if opinion-dividing Cristiano Ronaldo splitting them. This year Madrid's talisman has missed out on the cut leaving all the trophies to be put on display in the already well stocked Camp Nou Trophy Room.

All three are clearly worthy of winning the award.

Messi is the best player in the world, for me there is no argument on this. He is constantly making the game look ridiculously easy and moreover playing it in a way that appeals to the spectator and sets an example to those wishing to learn the game.

Xavi is the fulcrum of quite possibly the best club team of my lifetime - with perhaps only Galactico Madrid, Treble winning United and Invincible Arsenal as challengers to that title. His stats usually show that he alone makes as many passes in a match as the entire opposition team combined. His vision, patience, work-rate and creativity allow so much of the flowing football that Barca produce to be possible in the first place. He would deserve this award, no doubt.

Iniesta, last but not least, is the player who I think will get the award, clinching it due to the fact that it was he who smashed the ball past Stekelenburg with only minutes remaining in Extra Time, to win Spain their first ever World Cup. Such a high profile moment for a player already regarded as one of the world's absolute elite may well be that which sticks in the minds of those voting this year.

I think Iniesta will win, but I would probably want Messi to win it of all three. To repeat: he is the best player in the world. Furthermore, he is possibly further ahead in holding this status than almost any other player that I have seen over the past twenty years - there has always been a solid argument for 3/4 players, right now I think it would be hard to find anyone that did not concede that Leo is number 1.

Having said that, with such an outstanding top three the decision will be a fair and justifiable one whoever wins (presumably a novel experience for the FIFA execs involved).

Whatever happens, the biggest winners here are FC Barcelona. Not that they needed any right now, but the folks over at the Bernabeu must be taking this news as another painful reminder of precisely who is ruling the Spanish roost these days.

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I've just seen the confirmation that Alan Pardew, former Saints manager, is now boss at Newcastle. Not getting into that one as such, but one thing leapt out...they've given him a FIVE AND A HALF YEAR contract. That is just insanity. He was out of work and surely, given the chance to manage a relatively big club in the Premier League, would have been happy to sign for 1-2 years. They say who would be a manager...Me. That's who. 5 and a half years!! Unbelievable. The big top seemed to be taken down around St James' for a while, but make no mistake, the fat ringleader is back in the spotlight and he seems determined to run the best damn circus in all of footballdom.

F U F I F A

Here in Australia, and back home in England, the announcement of which country would be successful in it's bid to host both the 2018 and 2022 tournaments has been met with dismay.

An organisation that reeks to high heaven of corruption has exploited to the fullness of all possibility their bidding process that simply encourages deal-making and outright bribery.

For the record, I don't necessarily think that either Russia or Qatar are the worst possible choices in the world. On the plus side, they both represent areas of the world that have never had the chance to host such an event, and this is something to be lauded.

Unfortunately however, both the process and the result leave an incredibly sour taste in the mouth; and it is sadly impossible not to wonder what gas and oil-fuelled deals have been made to bring the tournament to these new horizons. The British press have immediately screamed 'Fix' and argued that there is no way this decision could have been made to this result if not unfairly.

For me this could easily be used to highlight the arrogance and sense of entitlement that was apparently a fatal element of our previous failed attempt, to host in 2006.

The thing with this though, is that the papers are blatantly right. Of course there have been dodgy deals done, of course this was all decided before our Prince, PM and God got up to speak...and of course we should be entitled to request that something be done to address it.

Here in Australia the decision was not greeted with such venom, rather more a sense of disappointment at such a poor result (1 vote, eliminated straight away) bordering on the pragmatic. Maybe they have too much to worry about with the cricket (Waheyy!) - but certainly even with the more gracious acceptance of their fate, questions have been raised about the legitimacy of both the process and the eventual winner.

Personally, I think Russia is a bad choice because of the expense, the size, and the racism. After South Africa and Brazil, fans who travel to these tournaments will be getting pretty tired of the toll of having to traverse vast countries to follow their team. Russia offers more of the same, albeit with certain geographically grouped 'clusters'.

Qatar on the other hand is as compact as one could possibly imagine - but this destination too is not without it's drawbacks. The heat for one, but also the cost as well - don't expect budget hotel rooms to be available far and wide. If anything I'm more likely to try and go to the 2022 tournament, but anyone who is able to make serious travel plans 12 years ahead of time probably needs to live a little more in the present!

Fundamentally though, to return to my original viewpoint; whilst these nations have their drawbacks they also have what can quite easily be viewed as strong bids. It is just such a shame that the stench of corruption that emanates from FIFA headquarters has tainted this victory and made it look so clear that the 2018 and 2022 World Cups were sold.

Many areas of the British press, and our bid team, aimed condemnation at the BBC's Panorama programme for turning the spotlight on the corruption at FIFA, at such a crucial time before the decision. Now that they are all calling the same tune, I say: let's declare war.

Get all of our best investigative journalists, as well as our scumbag tabloid muck-rakers, and turn all attention to bringing down this stinking group of fat, corrupt, out-of-touch idiots that run OUR game...we all know they must be up to all kinds of unscrupulous behaviour. Find it, expose it, lay it bare for the world to see. That way either FIFA is forced to clean up it's act, or it's influence can be weakened and we can start to get football back. Not because England lost, not because the next time a World Cup can be held in a proper and established footballing nation is 16 years away, but because it is about time.

Sepp, best get shredding and deleting mate...the journos are coming.

An Untidy Holiday Home

Or, to put it another way, a Messy Villa.

This hysterically witty piece of word play/over-elaborate failure of an intro serves the purpose of arriving at two names which will be haunting the minds of Real Madrid fans, players and manager until 17th April 2011.

Lionel Messi, David Villa, Xavi Hernandez and the rest of their Barcelona team-mates destroyed Madrid 5-0 at Camp Nou yesterday in the biggest domestic club game in the world. Watched by a worldwide audience in the hundreds of millions, they put on a show which was quite frankly as close to footballing perfection as I have ever seen.

The manner in which Barcelona dominated their opponent is nothing new - for years they have been dismantling teams with the potent blend of movement, possession, passing and pressing. This was another level though. Mourinho's Madrid team have yet to lose a competitive fixture. They have annihilated teams both domestically and in the Champions League, and Cristiano Ronaldo has continued his stunning goalscoring record against all comers this term. In short, they have looked like the Real deal. Last night, there was almost nothing they could do to contain the verve and tempo of Barca - for Mourinho to come out and magnanimously accept that they deserved to lose tells it's own story. Pep Guardiola's Barcelona team utterly humiliated their fiercest rivals and in a single stroke removed the veil of invincibility that Jose had threatened to create - again, this was just another level.

The fact that La Liga is nowadays such a two horse race lends even greater hype to these clashes, and Mourinho's presence as the Nemesis of Barcelona only cranks that up even further. Like, I suspect, many English football fans, I enjoy watching both Barca and Madrid - heresy to a true fan of either club I'm sure, but it is the case nonetheless. Having completed pilgrimages to both stadiums to watch each team play, and owning shirts of the Blanco and Blaugrana, at times in the past I've not known who to support in these clashes. Over recent years however, as a passionate believer in beautiful football I have been irresistibly drawn to supporting the team from Catalunya.

Ruud Gullit famously coined the phrase 'Sexy Football'. If his Chelsea side of the late 90's played sexy football, this Barcelona team play Backdoor Sluts Nine football. It is something that no other team in world football right now can replicate with such effectiveness, and is a style that - in my knowledge at least - no other team has been able to master, ever. Spain are up there, by virtue of having the same players in a different kit, but Leo isn't Spanish. The passing and movement throughout the team is just outrageously beautiful to watch, and when on such a stage as El Classico, I would argue there are few higher forms of art in the world as a Lionel Messi reverse through ball.

The pass to release Villa for his second and Barca's fourth goal was incredible; having beaten three players who by this stage only wanted to flatten him, the vision and then inch perfect execution was breathtaking. This was a virtuoso display from Messi, time and again he simply bypassed world class opposition and produced passes of ludicrous perfection (can you imagine what it must be like to play alongside him?!) to find teammates who are more than capable of capitalising and indeed returning the favour.

For me, there have been two outstanding players in football in my time as a fan. Zinedine Zidane, who made it look easier than anyone else; and the real Ronaldo, who when first on the scene simply blew my mind with what he was capable of, he was terrifying.

Lionel Messi makes it three.

For years now he has been the best player in the world - injuries held him back at first when breaking through at Barcelona but since they have subsided he has removed any argument. This year he has scored something stupid like 60 goals in 62 games for Barca. He has probably laid on a similar number. He is obviously the main man, and yet no-one can do anything about it. He is only 23 years old.

I only saw Maradona play as a drug-addled lunatic in the USA 94 world cup, and don't really remember him before that. I never saw Pele, or Cruyff, or Best. In any case, comparisons across the ages are impossible...but for me, Lionel Messi is fast approaching a stage where there is no debate any longer, he is potentially the greatest player to ever play the game.

On last night's evidence he is certainly on the right track to that kind of status. What a player, what a game, what a team.

2022: To boldly go

Two blogs in two days?! I hear you cry...the reason for this outburst of productivity is that next week's World Cup decision is for both the 2018 and 2022 tournaments. So to conclude the mini series, this post is looking at the contenders for the World Cup which will occur when I am 38. Thirty-freaking-eight. Jiminy Jilickers, Radioactive Man...that is frightening.

As with 2018, there are four contenders. This time, Europe and South America are excluded from contention, and the final four could not cover a wider geographical range. Next week one of USA, Japan, Qatar and Australia will be celebrating.

No messing around, straight into it - USA and Japan should not be picked.

Japan co-hosted the tournament in 2002 with South Korea, so they have to wait a bit longer to get their next turn. Until everyone has eaten, you can't go up for seconds.

USA have also been relatively recent hosts, albeit 28 years before the next time if they were to be successful. Again I think that others should be given a turn, but furthermore I think USA should be excluded on the grounds that fundamentally they just don't care that much. It is true that the 94 world cup set attendance records and made FIFA a fortune, it is true that officially more Americans bought tickets to South Africa than any other nation, and it's true that they have Universal Islands of Adventure which is hellah cool; but football will never be the main focus for Americans. The 94 world cup was supposed to kick things off in a big way, it hasn't quite done that so no point repeating the exercise.

This leaves two, both would be first-timers, and they could not be more contrasting.

Australia is the size of a continent. The host cities, chosen to align with the A-League, are mainly scattered along the East Coast - well known tourist hotspots such as Sydney, Brisbane, and the Gold Coast, as well as further South, Melbourne and Adelaide and the lone West Coast outpost of Perth. None of these cities are strangers to strangers if that makes sense, the venues and the country itself being well set up for tourism and major events.

Attempting to avoid all locally influenced bias, it is clear that Australia has a hell of a lot to offer as a draw for football fans across the globe. The fact is though, that you have to fly halfway across the globe just to make it here. Football fans will save up the money and travel the miles, no doubt, but an Australian tournament with the cost and distance involved would rule out visitors from less fortunate parts of the world.

That is probably applicable to any of the four contenders however so it's not necessarily something to hold against the Aussie bid, but now we turn to the final one, in many ways the wild card: Qatar.

The Middle East has never held a tournament like this, and quite possibly the main reason for this is simple. It gets HOT. Temperatures of the high 40s are commonplace at that time of year, and although the bid has promised air conditioned stadiums, training areas and fan fests, that has to be a factor. It surely will have an effect on the fitness and performance of the players and could easily be unbearable for visitors.

Reading through the Qatar bid though, one compelling factor for me was in the size of the country. It's tiny - around the size of Yorkshire. Due to the planned rail network, the longest time to travel between any 2 stadiums is 1 hour. That means, and brace yourself for this, it would be possible to go to all three games in a day during the group stages. O M F G. That would be one hell of a day (although based on my Cape Town form I'd get three 0-0's) and is something that has never been on offer at any of the modern World Cups.

A further factor that I think gives real support to the Qatar bid is that it is a part of the world that receives a lot of negative attention and mistrust. The first time I visited the Arab world, Abu Dhabi to be precise, I was struck by the fact that the Western image of Muslim countries is completely incorrect and can be quite damaging. It's a fascinating thing to experience such a different culture and really opened my eyes. It would be a good thing for people from around the world to see this for themselves and (start playing 'Heal the World' in your head) could do a lot to improve global relations or whatever the hell you'd call it.

In my opinion both the Aussie and Qatari bids have a lot going for them, and the prospect of either one would be something to look forward to. They offer so many positive benefits to visitors and to themselves, that for me either would be a worthy winner.

It's not for me to call it between the two, I just hope it does go to one of them - although knowing FIFA it will go to whoever makes them the most money. USA 2022? Don't bet against it.

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Being the only 'Pom' in an office watching live when Peter Siddle takes a game turning middle order hat-trick? Not fun. Just so you know.

2018 England...United?

In a little over a week's time, one of the most transparent, unbiased, fair and democratic committees on Earth will meet to decide the location for the World Cup in 2018 and 2022.

Here in Australia all focus is on the 2022 bid for which they are in with a great shout - blog on that to follow - but of more pressing concern for Europe is 2018. The tournament is guaranteed to be held in the smallest continent, with the four bids coming from England, Russia, Spain/Portugal and Netherlands/Belgium. As the vote draws ever closer I've been giving it more and more thought, and to my surprise I've found myself in conflict.

The World Cup is the biggest and most important sporting event in the world from my point of view. The Olympics is a fantastic spectacle, and it always delivers high drama and great moments, but for people who live and breathe football all the time, the World Cup is the pinnacle.

To think that we could have it in England is on an instinctive level just incredible - can you imagine how brilliant it would be to have three games a day across England; regional towns would adopt the nations that they host; people from all over the world would bring their own songs and atmosphere to our shores. It would all be so accessible (one thing moving to Australia shows you is just how small England really is) and it would all be held in superb stadiums. Also there would not be a bloody vuvuzela to be heard.

Euro 96 was, at the time, and even more so now with 14 years of nostalgia behind it, one hell of a month for me. I didn't attend a game, I didn't even go into London whilst the tournament was on - and yet I loved every second, and watched every second. To have the World Cup at a time in my life when I'd hopefully be able to attend a number of games and failing that make the most of the Fan Fests etc would surely be a high point. I know first hand what the atmosphere is like at a World Cup and it only makes sense that you would want that in your own 'back yard' as they say.

However, every so often, I try and think about things rationally. Not too much mind you but just now and then.

Is a World Cup really what our country needs?

I don't have the necessary insight and understanding to debate the economics of it. South Africa spent an obscene amount of money to get a tournament that brings in my view questionable benefits to it's needy citizens. I'm sure the bid team have put together a compelling case for how much hosting 2018 would boost our economy. It just seems to me on a purely simplistic level that when the government are making all kinds of cutbacks and millions of people could do with a hand, we shouldn't really be spending a fortune on a football tournament. We've seen how costs can spiral with the Olympics and I'm not certain another burden is required.

Furthermore, I have my doubts as to the welcome that fans of other teams would receive. After Gareth Southgate passed the Germans into the 96 final, riots broke out across the country and a Russian student was stabbed. After our elimination in 2004 and 2006, my home town of Croydon was smashed to pieces by frustrated, drunk, chav retard England 'fans'. When Bafana Bafana crashed out at the group stage, the whole country partied and made the most of having had the opportunity, and to be fair the team didn't really let them down. And so we come to the other huge factor.

Our Team.

Apparently people booed after the insipid defeat to France last week, even though it was a youthful and experimental team. The World Cup campaign was clearly a disaster, but regardless of the current state, we have always had far too high an opinion of ourselves and our chances. The pressure on the England team to win the tournament if they hosted it would be immense, and the media would be basically intolerable. Brazil go into the next World Cup as most likely favourites, and under horrendous pressure, but at least they have the players, the record and the calibre to give the favourite billing some gravity.

England are not a World Cup winning team, nor have they been for the majority of my life. There is no solid reason to think they could become one in 8 years, but the pressure if we were hosts would be atrocious. It would probably ruin a couple of careers - would you want to be the blundering defensive scapegoat or penalty missing Pizza Hut star who cost us the World Cup in our own country? No. me neither.

Maybe, just maybe, it would be best if it went to Spain. Lets face it, Easyjet fly there pretty cheap, there are few better places for a long weekend than Barcelona, and the sol y cerveza would not go amiss either.

England United? I'm not so sure.

Ashes to Ashes

Unsurprisingly, the full attention of the sporting media in Australia right now is focussed entirely on the imminent Ashes series, with the first Test getting under way in Brisbane on Thursday. The over-riding feel is one of trepidation - the Aussie team has not been enjoying anything resembling good form of late, and there is a growing unrest among factions of the media about who should be captain of the side, among other divisive issues.

Perhaps the biggest contributory factor towards this lack of the more traditional (but often justified) arrogance that used to fuel the predictions of 5-0 whitewashes, is that the Aussies have a genuine respect for their visitors. They regard England as a strong team, with some outstanding individuals, and a much improved winning mentality.

England, for their part, have been putting in a number of impressive performances in preparation, but have crucially never started to believe the hype. They know this is going to be a tough series, and would never fall into the trap of dismissing the chances of their illustrious hosts...regardless of form, Australia in Australia will never be an easy task. It certainly seems poised to be an intriguing Summer of cricket, with both sides wary of each other but in belief of their own merits.

What this shows, and where we turn the conversation on to football, is that the way you perceive your opponent can define your chances before a ball is even kicked.

My beloved Sunday League team AFC Hamsey (miss you lads, keep the wins coming, Tumanzi) provided a perfect case study in this, week after week. Within the first 5 minutes of getting together, you could see whether the team was 'up for' the game or not - and invariably this came down to who we would be up against. The stronger teams and more important games against close rivals would usually inspire focus, determination and good performances. Turning up to face a team that had been beaten week in week out and you could see we would not take it seriously - invariably the result would be sloppy, sub-par and lazy football. Often that would suffice, but that's not the point - it's how you approach a game that counts.

One result in particular this weekend seemed to provide compelling evidence that this approach is not specific to Sunday League football - or ancient cricketing rivalry for that matter.

Arsenal's players should all be grounded.

To let slip a 2-0 half time lead is poor. To give it up at home is even worse. To take nothing from the game should be impossible. To do it against your biggest rivals, whilst protecting a 17 year unbeaten record - go to your room young man, we are both VERY disappointed in you.

I feel sure that this result would not have happened if Arsenal were facing a different opponent. From their part, they would have known that they had contained Spurs quite comfortably, and would have remembered the home win last season in which Tottenham crumbled after conceding. It is difficult to shake off the feeling that Arsenal felt the job was done and there was no danger any more - they regarded Spurs with an element of contempt and a lack of respect that was in some ways the cause for their downfall.

They should have known that this is Tottenham's biggest away trip of every season, and they were bound to come flying out of the blocks for the second half. Spurs these days are made of higher quality stuff than in years gone by, and should never be dismissed or written off when they possess players like Bale, Modric and the duck to water Van der Vaart.

Of course, I'm not overlooking the fact that the sloppy defending was the main reason that Arsenal lost this match and all that went with it - but I think they need to take their opponents more seriously. Defeats at home to West Brom and Newcastle suggest that the Gunners have the same disease as AFC Hamsey, and as long as they fail to enter every game with the discipline and respect required, they will never overtake Chelsea and United and claim a fourth Premier League title.

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If you're planning on staying up to watch the Brisbane test, eyes peeled on Saturday for a Southampton shirt in the crowd. Potential SubPlease Cricket Special next week with all the details of my Ashes baptism...

'That...was a goal'

For over 50 years now, France Football magazine has awarded the 'Ballon D'Or' or 'Golden Ball' (A in GCSE French) to the best player in Europe over the past year. They invented it to raise awareness and profile to coincide with the inaugural European Cup, and over the years it has grown in status to be arguably the single most credible and coveted award a player can achieve in European football. The list of winners is a who's who of the legendary figures of the European and World game since it was expanded to include players of any nationality who ply their trade in the continent.

FIFA, the grubby, slimy bunch of crooks that they are, have now joined forces with France Football and it is now the FIFA Ballon D'Or - to align with their FifPro award for World Player of the Year and create one overall title.

Incidentally, and please bear with me for this digression, but I've just finished reading the third and final Stieg Larsson 'Millenium' book. This focusses heavily on a covert gang of secret police within the secret police, who operate completely outside the law, without conscience or moral code and will do anything to protect themselves and the sweet deal they have going on. At numerous times whilst reading about them, I had to remind myself that he wasn't referring to Sepp Blatter and his cronies at FIFA. Anyway.

So, now that FIFA have spawned their way on to the prestigious and credible awards panel, they have set about putting their stamp down and reinventing aspects of it. One introduction is the FIFA Puskas trophy, which is awarded to the scorer of the best goal of 2010.

In all fairness, I think this is a great idea and the criteria behind the selections are solid. Clearly with it being FIFA there is bound to be some bias, and political motivation, behind the final ten shortlisted, but they at least talk the talk. The criteria for making the cut are:

aesthetics; the importance of the match; the absence of luck or an opposition mistake as a factor making the goal possible; fair play; and the date

All of this sounds fair and sensible, and again to their credit, the top ten does contain a varying range of goal types. The full list is available to view here:

Jinking dribbles feature heavily, with Robben, Messi, Neymar and in particular Samir Nasri showing their skills. These goals don't quite do it for me though, as in each instance I have to find fault with the defenders. Clearly stopping players of this calibre is not easy, but watch all three of these goals and tell me you don't think there is at least one flappy toe-in-the-cold-water style 'challenge' that should be classed as an opposition mistake.

Token FIFA let's be nice inclusion goes to household name Kumi Yokoyama of Japan U17's (obviously) with again a decent dribble and some nice footwork, but some appalling Korea DPR defending - takes me back to Cape Town seeing that.

The spankers are out in full force, with van Bronckhorst's semi final stunner and Tshabalala's tournament opener from the summer both featuring. Both of those score high in importance points, and I find Tshabalala's goal to be of particular aesthetic appeal - the power that goes into the shot almost seems fuelled by the optimism of an entire country, and the through ball was just perfect.

But, dear readers, cast your minds back to August and you will recall that FIFA needn't have used any of their criteria (particularly not fair play, what does that even mean in this context?!) as there is of course a rock solid formula to figure out the best goal.

It all boils down to the Could I Do It factor, and for me there are three on this list that stand out more than the rest.

Hamit Altintop catches a ball full on the volley at a height almost a foot higher than he would have liked it, direct from the corner. He is 20 yards out and hits it so sweetly and with such a perfect arc that the keeper is never saving it. Stunning strike and technically so difficult that the CIDI Factor is massive.

But that's nothing. Linus Hallenius, unknown to me until today but committed into the game show memory bank for evermore, takes volleying technique to new and outrageous heights with his effort. Chest control, a lob over the defender...so far so good. The finish, however, Jesus H Christ. From a Van Besten-esque angle, he unleashes a thunderbolt which catches the keeper by surprise - this is entirely fair as Hallenius should never have tried this, but he pulled it off in spectacular style. Incredible power and sheer audacity, a phenomenal goal.

Last word on technique however goes to the impudent, innovative and downright brilliant goal from Matt Burrows of Glentoran. Lobbing the keeper in the 90th minute from the edge of the box with a volleyed 360 midair backheel into the top corner? My CIDI generator just exploded.

Take a look at the ten, let me know what you think...or hijack the vote and give Yokoyama the award she truly deserves.

The Puskas shortlist

Squirrel Poo*

The results across the Premier League this weekend once again threw up all manner of surprises to give further weight to the suggestion that this season is just absolutely batsh!t mental. Guano.

My last blog reflected on how tightly packed the league table was, a set of circumstances seemingly the result of many teams being able to beat any rival on any given day. Numerous bizarre results ever since the opening day have contributed to what has been, for the neutral, a highly entertaining start to the season.

Clearly the eye-popper this weekend is the scoreline from Stamford Bridge. Not in a long time have Chelsea been so soundly beaten and comprehensively outplayed on their own patch - the football leading to Gyan's second goal was delightful and tore the admittedly makeshift back line to shreds. Sunderland were worthy winners and will hope to use this as something of a springboard, whilst the rest of the league will have taken great interest in the chink in the Chelsea armour.

The way this season is going however, there's every likelihood that Chelsea will demolish Birmingham to look like invincible champions elect once again, whilst results will go against the Mackems and Steve Bruce's men will drop down to 12th. All this craziness is presumably the source of frustration in boardrooms and manager's offices across the land, but for those of us who are free to sit back and watch, it's great.

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In other news, I've finally managed to land myself a job over here in Upside-Down Land, and the pesky work firewall does not allow access to Blogger! Curse them, the tricksy little hobbits. I will of course keep up the dedication to this fine site and hope that you do too - but unfortunately the BT gravy train glory days of getting paid to sit and write blogs all day are behind us.

Given that updates might therefore be slightly more sporadic, I'd like to invite you the beloved readership to get interactive. Let me know via the comments below or the Facebook page what you'd like to see dissected in true SubPlease style - any suggestions for bloggable topics from the world of football are welcome and encouraged. I've a few topics on the slow burner that I am going to discuss in due course, but I'd love to hear what you would want to see on here.

No it's not laziness, it's an astute awareness of engagement habits in the ever-changing socially networked world...

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* In case this meant no sense, it was a reference to the crazy results this season. As in:

'Nuttier than...'

The Morning After

Sometimes in life you don't do something and you immediately regret it.

Other times you don't do something and are left to think:

Yep, that was a smart move. I'm glad I didn't do that.

Rather than enter into the murky depths of my past to reveal those moments in graphic and quite possibly slanderous detail, for the purposes of this column I'm referring more to sporting occasions.

In particular given the England - USA time difference, every time that I tried to stay up for the entire Superbowl, only to fall asleep early in the third period; I'd wake up to find that the game was a stunner with an incredible end (Thanks, Eli Manning). The Superbowls that I watched all the way through by contrast were the thrashings or the painfully slow and boring field goal fests.

It was with some relief and satisfaction therefore this morning when I awoke to the news that the Manchester derby had been by all accounts a dour, uninspiring and downright boring match. My sympathies to those of who you sat through the game, maybe it wasn't as bad as the reports suggest - often a 0-0 can be just as gripping and watchable as a 3-3 - but I'm certainly glad I didn't get out of bed stupidly early to source somewhere to watch it.

The result itself would seem to be best for Chelsea of anyone. A good win against their own local rivals Fulham has extended their lead again to 4 points, and as per my previous blog I firmly believe they will be the ones lifting the trophy in May. As for the rest of the league, who can say?

After 12 games, very nearly a third of the season, the league is incredibly tight. Just six points seperate Newcastle in 5th to Wigan in the relegation zone. Ten teams - half the entire division - are kept apart by a margin of just one win, indeed six of those are seperated on goal difference alone. It's difficult to accurately compare (OK probably not that difficult but I can't be arsed) but it certainly seems hard to recall a Premier League as tightly bunched as this after so many games.

Liverpool are a great example of what this means - in the relegation zone and desperate, a run of six games unbeaten and they are now able to make plans for a season which looked beyond rescue. Essentially what the Reds have demonstrated is that with a league table so closely grouped, no team should read too much into their position as so much can alter so dramatically in one game. Of course it is important to consider where you lie in the table, but when one win can potentially propel you up 8 or 9 places, clearly the world is a little bit messed up.

For this reason, I'm not going to go into any kind of conclusion mode at this stage. All three promoted teams can be extremely satisfied with their starts but would do well to act like a Qantas A380 and stay grounded - Hull City were flying high 2 years ago and came crashing down to Earth, also like a Qantas A380. (Topical.)

The usual chasing pack of Aston Villa, Everton and Tottenham are not perhaps where they'd want to be, but ought not to get too despondent as they are only a good streak away from getting into the elite. The bottom three certainly have cause for concern, in particular West Ham with a terrible record of only one win so far...but they are not cut adrift yet.

Over the next 6 games it is likely that the league will begin to stretch itself out a bit and by the New Year it may not be as tight...but there is certainly going to be the opportunity for some of the lesser lights to punch above their weight this year. Who that might be, I'll keep to myself for now, but it should be interesting.

Let's just hope it's worth getting out of bed for...

Manchester, La-la-la

Arguably the biggest winners of this Premiership weekend were Manchester United, good old Jason Park with two goals to clinch a narrow win over Mick McCarthy's Wolves. This result in itself was not the major factor in it being their weekend - more the fact that Chelsea and Arsenal (and Spurs) all lost, giving all the more importance to the late winner from Patrice Evra's best bud.

Incidentally if the end of that sentence is a surprise to you, look it up on YouTube. Evra and Park are best mates, and (when he was there), the pair of them formed the unlikeliest of friendly trinities with Carlos Tevez. A hilarious video exists of Jason having a birthday party with his two pals, culminating in a split lip. Seriously, it is worth a watch.

They now face upstart local rivals Man City in a local derby which has grown massively in terms of attention and ferocity in the last year or two. The game at Old Trafford last season with Michael Owen's famous 96th minute winner was one of the best games that the Premier League has seen in the past 5 years; and a seesaw Carling Cup semi final added more fuel to the fire. United actually scored 90+ minute winners in 3 of their 4 meetings with City last season and have therefore given the Sky Blues an added incentive to make this the game of their season.

Roberto Mancini will not be entirely happy with the start his team have made and, despite whatever he may claim, will know that a win against United and a strong sequence of wins to go into January may be the minimum requirement for him to avoid joining me in the world of unemployment. With Carlos Tevez back from injury, David Silva showing that he is beginning to adjust to English football, and Mario Balotelli potentially available pending an appeal; Mancini has cause to believe in the abilities within his own side. Added to this, the injury situation at Old Trafford will remove many of the key figures from the United line-up, and this could be the time for City to get a much coveted slice of revenge. City fans will consider this the one to win above all others; Mancini will recognise that as well as a huge morale boost, three points on Wednesday would see them draw level with their cross-city rivals - and also gain him some much needed UAE brownie points.

It would seem that whilst United have bragging rights, status, and recent history on their side, City will be relishing the challenge and may well be thinking this fixture has cropped up at a great time. I predict a score draw which will suit the reds more than the blues; but there's bound to be fireworks.

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Another team who have to live life in competition with a same city rival, Melbourne Heart are really clicking into gear now in the A League. The Heart currently sit 6th, level on points with rivals Melbourne Victory but with a game in hand. The runaway leader in this league is Brisbane Roar, who claimed a hugely impressive 4-0 win in a battle of 1st vs 2nd this week which has led to many to concede that they can't be stopped for the title. They have a Brazilian striker 'Reinaldo' who is basically the equivalent of Asda own brand cereal.

Not allowed to call them Coco Pops, instead you get 'Coco Puff's' or something nearly-but-not-quite the same. They taste ok, but you know they are not the real thing - the quality isn't quite there, but they are a bit cheaper. So Reinaldo is just Asda own brand Ronaldo. By the way the Coco Pops monkey is different in Australia, but that's another story.

The highlight of this weeks A-League action however had nothing to do with the goalscoring exploits of wannabe Ronnie, instead it was provided by Melbourne Victory defender Roddy Vargas. His own goal gave Gold Coast United a 1-0 win, and what a bloody goal it was.

Imagine a ball whipped in form the byline at a healthy speed, about a foot off the ground. Then picture a defender, perhaps 12 yards away from his goal, just inside his near post.

Now try and conceive of a scenario in which that defender could head the ball into his own net. Not just head it in, absolutely nail it with the top/side of his skull...leaving the keeper and all the watching seagulls with no chance.

'Rowdy' Roddy Vargas, look away now

UnbelievaBale

Gareth Bale tore the European Champions to shreds for the second time in 2 weeks to send Tottenham and their fans Inter dreamland.

After the 4-3 defeat in which Bale scored a hat-trick, I wrote about the fact that for some years now, Southampton fans have known that he had frightening potential. The manner in which he dismantled Maicon - no mug - time and time again in this pulsating victory took Bale's status to a level which possibly not even those in the know had thought possible.

It is easy to get carried away whenever a player has a good game...but think about the context.

Two weeks ago, Rafa Benitez, the Inter players, and pretty much all of Europe (and beyond - hi) saw what Bale was capable of when given space to run at the defender. It does not take a football mastermind to identify the threat that he poses, and when a rematch is just around the corner, item 1 on the Pre-Match plan is: Stop Bale.

The fact that he was under such scrutiny and spotlight prior to the game due to his stunning hat-trick would excuse any 21 year old player from struggling to cope or have much impact on the proceedings. Bale made a mockery of such predictions and created panic, danger, and an end product almost every time he got the ball.

The key lies in his change of pace. Bale does not particularly rely on fleet of foot or jinking skill - what he does is devastatingly simple. In full flight he has incredible speed, but the secret is in the acceleration and the variety of pace. Witness the number of times he simply runs round a defender...it starts slow, and then explodes with acceleration and power to take him past.

Perhaps the main reason this allowed him to torment Inter again is that Bale makes it difficult to shut him down. He does not need acres of open grass in which to build his acceleration, as it is so explosive and sudden. If he can receive the ball with even one touch of space ahead of him, he is able to build the type of unstoppable momentum that he demonstrated this morning, (I woke up early to watch it) and his composure and vision ensures that he often delivers a chance. There are a number of players around with blistering pace, but how many can you name who can so consistently deliver as devastating an end product?

From a defensive point of view, sticking a man right on him leaves acres of space in the channel and is not a viable option given how wide he plays; plus he is skillful enough to handle tight situations. Also, given the way he simply bypasses some of the world's best defenders; volunteers to man-mark him are presumably few and far between at present. Furthermore, this would give Aaron Lennon free roam on the right wing, and whilst he is not at Bale's level currently, it would be a foolish manager who overlooks his threat altogether.

What this game showed is that Gareth Bale has the potential to become a truly world class player. He will need to continue the form that he has shown throughout 2010, but certainly there will be few who dismiss him or put him in the 'form is temporary' bracket. Sure, Danny Cadamarteri looked decent for a while - but he never hit these peaks. Few, if any, players from the British Isles have done since a young Wayne Rooney was making waves.

Wales fans will be hoping that Giggs 2.0 can continue his development and perhaps bring some glory back to their international game - Spurs fans ought to savour every moment of this fantastic victory and incredible player as, sadly for them, he might not be around The Lane for a great deal longer.

Blue is the colour of Christmas

With the clocks going back in England heralding the official end of 'Summer' (thanks for all your hard work, must try harder), thoughts turn towards Christmas and the festive season. Having just read the results from England and studying the impact on the Premier League table, I feel confident in stating that this Christmas is going to be a good one for Chelsea fans.

The five point lead that they currently hold with a quarter of the season done is by no means conclusive. As they showed against Manchester City, they are not invincible; and the latest win over Blackburn was according to reports not the most comprehensive dismantling of an opponent - but a win nonetheless. However they are confidently notching up the wins, racking up the points, and striding towards what would be their fourth Premier League title.

The reason that Christmas holds so much for potential for Blues fans is revealed with a quick look ahead at the fixture list (see, research and everything goes into these columns!). On December 13th in what promises to be a feisty encounter under the Monday Night floodlights, Man United host Arsenal. Despite the emergence of City, Tottenham et al; Wenger and Ferguson pose the most significant threat to Chelsea. A draw here would be a welcome result in West London - but whatever the outcome, one of them will be dropping points.

6 days later Chelsea host United, with another chance to take points from a direct rival. Finally, the day after Boxing Day, Carlo Ancelotti's Blues travel to the Emirates - again, what better way to tighten your grip on the title by claiming a win and taking points from a direct rival all in one.

Of course current form can change and this is all based on prediction, never one of my strong points; but the fixture computer may have handed Chelsea the chance to head into 2011 with a damn-near unassailable lead.

Sports Betting seems to be massive over here in Sydney - many pubs have a betting shop built in - and anyone with money on Chelsea to claim back-to-back Legaue titles should be feeling pretty good about their investment right now, and may well have a very Merry Christmas.

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Another team which was heavily backed by punters this Summer is my very own Southampton. After a good win yesterday the Saints have moved into a group of teams on similar points - although we currently sit outside of the play-off's, another win could take us to second. A showdown with current runaway leaders Brighton at St Marys later this month could well be the Saints' own chance to damage a rival and stake their own claim.

Either that or we'll screw up again.

Australia 1, England 0

Keeping up with goings-on in Europe is difficult from Australia.
The news programmes adopt a particularly insular approach, mentioning only the most significant of global events; plus the time difference is currently 10 hours ahead of England.

This plays particular havoc with trying to follow the football - Saturday afternoon games would kick off at 5am Sunday morning here, and coverage is only available on pay per view television (an unaffordable luxury to the currently unemployed blogger.)

Furthermore, football - I refuse to call it soccer and you can shoot me if I ever start - is very much a niche sport over here, the A-League pales into comparison in terms of coverage against the AFL and the Rugby. Interestingly, however, things are by no means as bleak as the above facts might combine to suggest.

Earlier this week, following the Champions League action, I watched a 1 hour highlights/analysis show on free-to-air Australian TV at the not unreasonable time of 10pm. And here's the thing:

It was brilliant.

The 'key' matches were shown in extended higlights packages of around 5 minutes or more - those featuring Europe's biggest or most glamorous clubs. Every goal from every game was also shown, albeit in some cases very briefly and without replay. But where the show really delivered was on the analysis.

It has long been a gripe of mine that Match of the Day and in particular ITV are guilty of failing to provide anything near decent, intelligent and informed coverage of football. Describing what has just happened IS NOT ANALYSIS and adds nothing to the event. We can all see that he has taken a touch and then slotted it past the keeper, quite why we need Andy Townsend/Alan Shearer/Jamie Redknapp to tell us what we are looking at is beyond me.

What we don't have however is the reference point that comes from a career at the highest level of football - or the tactical insight of a top class coach or manager.

This is what the Aussie show provided - goals were deconstructed in terms of what the defence had done wrong, the skill behind a clever run that a particular player was making, how in fact the opposition could/should or did counteract...for the first time in a long time watching football, I really felt as though I was learning something. To understand how in fact Javier Zanetti had found himself in so much space for his goal (due to the intelligent and very deliberate run inside from the right winger) and also to be shown quite clearly why Tom Huddlestone was maybe five yards out of position too often, leaving Sneijder free rein - it was compelling viewing and I loved it.

Maybe it is due to the fact that football is so niche in Australia - they know the only people watching are going to be into it; whereas BBC/ITV feel they need to cater to a general audience. Maybe it is due to the apparent American-style love for statistical/analytical breakdown of sport over here. Maybe the pundit was just generally smarter or better informed than his English counterparts.

Whatever the reason, there was only one conclusion - the coverage over here is much, much better. England, you are being short-changed. We knew it all along but travelling thousands of miles has simply confirmed it. Right now there may well be nothing we can do about it, but as soon as I'm back I'll get on the case.

First though, I'm off to the beach. Crikey.

PS The Heart are ticking over nicely, currently mid-table but within a win of third.

PPS So Wayne Rooney is a master negotiator...who knew?!

United on the Wayne

So, bloody hell, it all seems to be kicking off in a big way over at Old Trafford then doesn't it?!

Prior to his official statement, the 'noises' and 'reports' that were emanating about Wayne Rooney's intentions were taken with a pinch of salt by me and, I presume, many others. But there is nothing of the tabloid rumour in his statement, and it must be seriously concerning for United fans.

Rooney has essentially stated that his team-mate's are no longer of the calibre required to win the trophies to which he has been accustomed over recent years. As my previous blog discussed, their results this year have not been up to scratch. Further to this, the fact that Ronaldo and Tevez have not been adequately replaced (buying youngsters, potential notwithstanding, is not the same) would seem to give some weight to Rooney's grievance.

However one thing seems to be conspicuous in it's absence from the England striker's viewpoint.

Wayne, mate...you've not exactly been tearing the world apart lately, have you?

The fact that he has chosen to time this decision on the back of easily the worst run of form that he has ever slumped to - 2010 starting so brightly and now an annus horribilus - may well weaken his position.

His first touch at the moment would not get him in the Barcelona Under 15's team. Granted, he is one of football's leading global superstars and many clubs will be clamouring to get his name on the back of their replica shirts (City's Garry Cook is presumably stalking in the bushes outside Rooney Mansion as we speak) but if this does happen, he will have to do some serious improving.

Whatever happens here, I can't help but shake the feeling that Alex Ferguson - despite probably operating under more constraints than at any other time during his tenure - will be thinking to himself that young Wayne might be making a big mistake. We shall see.

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While one young British superstar throws his toys out the pram despite playing like a complete Heskey; another is busy showing the world what us Saints fans have known for years.

Gareth Bale is the real deal. Make no mistake - at 17 he carried a Saints team to the brink of promotion, all while playing as a left back. Those of us who saw him in youth team days alongside Theo Walcott were impressed by the maturity of his play and the quality of his touch. Now, it seems, the entire footballing world will know all about him.

A hat-trick in the San Siro (by all accounts a hat-trick of the highest quality) will possibly mean Gareth Bale is playing in the Champions League 2010/11 for even longer than Tottenham are. The big fish will want him, and trust me, he is good enough.

Angry about Desmond

First things first, apologies for the delay in getting the blog updated, having arrived in Sydney still losing the Jet lag battle it's been difficult to find the time and internet connection; but the aim is to get back to 2/3 updates a week from now on.

Waking up this morning to check the results (Saturday afternoon games kick off about 4am here) the one thing that leapt out was that Manchester United have racked up yet another 2-2 draw. Reading more to learn that they threw away a 2-0 lead...at home...to West Brom, and the over-riding conclusion was that Alex Ferguson will not have been a happy bunny.

The fact that Chelsea were held by Aston Villa and so have not extended their lead is some comfort, but this is very un-United. The teams with whom they have shared 4 goals are not exactly stellar rivals either, but lesser lights of the Premier League; teams they would usually expect to take 6 points from over a season and crush into submission from a position of 2-0 up.

It may well be a little bit Neejurk to suggest that they have big problems. United are notoriously slow starters, and many years have looked shaky coming into Autumn only to put on a ludicrous winning run from Christmas onwards, to make fools of anyone who forecast their demise a few months before. That being said, it is impossible not to notice the current slump.

With their talismanic leader Rooney in all kinds of trouble (he has been a shadow of his best since his injury in March) and a reliance on two midfielders with a combined age of about 89, it is clear that United are not - on paper at least - the terrifying prospect that they were throughout the 90's and 00's. But they are still Manchester United and, crucially, they're still Alex Ferguson's Manchester United. The current habit of throwing away winning positions will surely not continue because if nothing else, those players will be getting almighty grief from their boss. And no-one likes that.

Hong-Kong-Long way to go

Greetings readers, this post comes to you all the way from Hong Kong where I have spent the last few days taking on jetlag and getting a thrashing of embarrassing proportions.

The place is absolutely nuts, very busy and extremely advanced. But this is not a travel blog, this is a football blog; so with true journalistic integrity I have been secretly taking notes over the time here. The intention is to form my thoughts into something cogent and readable even after 4 days of sleep deprivation and drinking with Chinese Brian.

The topic that has given me cause to ponder is that of the presence of English football over here. It's unavoidable whether on billboards, TV advertising or just the shirts worn by the swarms of people everywhere; no doubt the English Premier League (along with Real Madrid and in particular Barcelona) is big business over here.

I've been conducting a little tally in my head every time I clock an English club shirt, and the results are very much what you might expect but therein lies an intriguing situation. Leading the way are Manchester United and Liverpool. This is probably as would be expected due to global reach and domination of the past 2 decades for one, and the historical significance of the other. Next comes Barcelona, miles ahead of El Classico rivals Madrid. Everyone loves a bit of Leo though don't they, whether in Kowloon or Kathmandu the bloke is God. Or Buddha.

The other two English teams to crop up on a fairly frequent basis have been Arsenal and Chelsea. Again as expected due to their successes over the past 5-10-15 years. I've also seen Everton, Aston Villa, and even spotted Sheffield United and a few Glasgow Celtic shirts.

But here's the thing.

The team that has spent more money than anyone in England, the team which pays higher wages than any of their rivals, the team which has ambitious designs on becoming top dog in world football; they are nowhere to be seen.

Manchester City do not exist here in Hong Kong.

Any mention of Manchester will invariably relate to United, and people simply don't seem to care about City. They are second in the league, recently beat Chelsea, have Carlos Tevez, and yet they are no-one.

This has to be a situation that City address. Without doubt they are big news in Abu Dhabi (the slogan 'Our Country, Our City' is plastered alongside mugshots of Carlitos and friends all over AD) but to really match the big guns in England they need to be popular all over the world.

Even if they win the league and Liverpool finish in 15th, City will not be anywhere near the status of the Reds. The way the game is these days, the business side of a club and in particular marketing the 'brand' as far and wide as possible is essential - to ensure the revenue to fund the exorbitant costs. Admittedly, City are in a unique financial position in that their owners have more money than they could ever spend, but if they ignore the global marketing side of things, they will never truly be the biggest. You can't buy everything.

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The next time this blog is updated will be from my new home in Australia, where as a Melbourne Heart fan I could not be arriving at a better time. Yesterday, in the first ever Melbourne Derby and easily the biggest game of their young history, the Heart beat Melbourne Victory to earn bragging rights and more importantly a good deal of attention and respect. I'm hoping to go and watch them play as soon as I can so will report first hand on our heroes. Keep reading!

Goliath's Fat Arse

The major talking point of this weekend's Premier League action was clearly the incredible result from Anfield.

Apparently some bookies were offering crazy odds for a Blackpool win, which may well have added to what must have been one hell of a day out for the travelling Blackpool fans. A 2-1 win in which they spent large spells as much the better team and only had one or two real scares at the death would be far more than anyone would have expected, particularly having been taught a lesson at Arsenal and Chelsea.

Inevitably, when David pulls of one of these results, all attention goes to Goliath. However these days Liverpool are looking more Gabby Yorath than Goliath. (Nothing against her but the name is similar, and it is late...) The appallingly bad start to the season is a continuation of the decline which has seemed to be plaguing the Reds since missing out narrowly in May 2009.

They absolutely will not get relegated, it is crazy to even think that could happen. Despite current appearances, they have too much quality for this slump to continue, but it is also going to be another painful season for their supporters and it could be about to get even worse.

Next up is Everton at Goodison. Everton who have just ended Birmingham's 12 month unbeaten home record. Everton who have started picking up momentum after a similarly poor start. Everton who would love nothing more than to stick the knife in further and enjoy the suffering of their great rival. I am certain however that even another defeat should not spell the end of Roy Hodgson's tenure - to me this is all just a little bit Neejurk.

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Speaking of Neejurks, Fabio Capello has called Bolton's Kevin Davies up to the England squad for the upcoming qualifier against the team named after a black Ryder Cup captain, Montenegro.

This is not the direction England need to be going. What type of football are we going to be playing if we think Davies is a viable option? He's 33 for Christ's sake, hardly looking to the future is it. Spain must be p*ssing their sides at the fact that we rely on a fat arse and a solid pair of elbows to try and improve.

I've nothing against Davies - to be honest I like him, he gave Saints some great memories and am happy he might get a cap after all these years - but it is absolutely the wrong move from Capello.

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This is the last blog I'll be writing from England as we set off for a new life in Australia tomorrow. I'm definitely going to keep it up and will try to give a variety of angles, Australian A-League as well as all the usual stuff. Melbourne Heart have their first ever derby against Melbourne Victory next week, I'll bring you an in depth report of that one!

Keep reading, thanks for all the support so far. Cheers.

Where it all began

As September ends it has dawned on me that I've been writing this blog now for almost 5 months (I know, right?) and whilst the mega-fame and 5-book deal is yet to materialise, I have been enjoying it and thanks to you lovely people have received some decent feedback.

You might be thinking that this is the first time I have ever tried anything like this. Well friends, think again. My first foray into writing about football came over 12 years ago (only 2 days out from the date I started this blog, coincidentally) and rather than tell you all about it, I thought the best thing would be simply to show you.

Reading the letter it seems clear that this has always been my destined path, mainly because I'm happy to spend far too long in my spare time (of which I now have a lot, any employers in Sydney, gissajob) writing about football.

So below, in all it's glory, is my strongly worded letter to Glenn Hoddle, England Manager.

For the Love of the Game...?

Last night BBC1's regular sports magazine show 'Inside Sport' was handed over to former England Cricketer Ed Smith.

Smith, who is now a successful journalist with The Times, had put together an interesting and engaging documentary examining the question: 'Is Professionalism Killing Sport'.

The program focussed on a number of sports, drawing from interviews with psychologists, coaches and high profile stars such as Ryan Giggs, jockey A P McCoy and Usain Bolt; as well as Smith's own personal experience. Smith confessed that his childhood love of cricket became further from the truth and harder to recapture with the increasing success of his career. The higher his status and stock rose, naturally so rose the stress and pressure to perform.

Numerous people on the show concurred with the opinion that as the stakes and the pressure rise, things become impossible to enjoy. The meticulous preparation exemplified by Clive Woodward's reign in charge of the England rugby team - whilst it led to unparalleled success - also created an environment of analysis, statistical insight and repetition. In such a cold clinical system, where is the room for messing about, laughing, having fun?

Interestingly, Ryan Giggs was not so supportive of this view. He argued that football thrives on the instinctive, the maverick and the extraordinary - stating (perhaps modestly) that he was never thinking when he produced his best moments on the football pitch. He spoke in glowing terms about the maestro Eric Cantona, and the fact that he produced such incredible genius time and again, but always in such a natural and instinctive manner.

I was so pleased to hear this from Giggs and rejoiced in the fact that the documentary put forward conflicting viewpoints.

Growing up, my hero was Matthew Le Tissier. Even trying to remove the obvious bias, I find it hard to concede that there was a more gifted, natural and instinctive player in the world at the time that Le Tissier was at his best (1993-95) but one thing that is completely unarguable is the stamp that he left on my young footballing psyche.

Le Tiss always produced some incredible stuff on the pitch. Flicks, touches, vision, and a showreel of goals that is just ridiculous; YouTube it, you won't regret it. It seemed impossible to think that he ever felt that the professional status had altered or lessened the way he played the game and the enjoyment that he derived from it.

Because of this, I have always tried things on a pitch that with my limited ability I probably shouldn't. Football is a game after all, it should be played for fun and why not try and be expressive when playing it. Lionel Messi is the best player in the world, he has won the European Cup twice, the FIFA World Player of the Year and is only 23 - and he never looks like the weight of professionalism is weighing him down.

Granted, picking Cantona, Giggs, Le Tissier and Messi as your proof that football is a different kettle of fish might be a slightly unfair subject group - but I am going to do it anyway. I think the reason these players are able to play in such a manner even with the weight of the world on them is due to the inherent nature of the game. With rugby, horse racing, athletics, cycling and in particular cricket, there is an intense amount of concentration and discipline required due to the nature of the sport. Football is a more fast-paced, fluid and ultimately chaotic sport than any of these others and no matter how much preparation goes into anything, it can all be undone instantly with a moment of unstoppable genius.

Jose Mourinho has built a career of success purely on the strategy of ignoring everything I have just said, and clearly footballers do need to concentrate intensely and are under extreme pressure - think how many tight games are settled on one mistake - but I still believe there is so much room for expression in the beautiful game that it should never, at any level, be a completely robotic and functional exercise in concentration and stress.

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You may be feeling like you have just lost 3 minutes of your life to an argument that never really reached a proper conclusion. Well friend, you are probably right. So why not comment and give me your stance on whether footballers should stop enjoying it and play like disciplined Jose-bots; or allow the natural flair and expression to come out and give us the moments that last forever...

And here is a video to reward your patience and continued support