I'm not your friend, buddy...

I've never really fully grasped the concept of going on strike.

I guess I've been lucky enough never to be in a situation where I feel my working conditions are so poor that I have to do something about them. During my time at BT there were often rumblings from the union there about striking, but I would never have bothered - walking around all day with a placard was in fact a hell of a lot more work than actually clocking on and writing blogs/working on my post it flick book animations all day.

I got pretty good, my Sistine Chapel moment came in the form of a football scene which had four seperate points of animation, the striker, the ball flying into the top corner, the slide tackling defender and the despairing dive of the keeper. It was brilliant, took about 2 hours, still got it somewhere.

Generally as well I fail to sympathise with those on strike - from my naive, ill-informed and quite possibly over-privileged position, I just think if you don't like your job go and get another. And why don't the company bosses just sack them all and get people in who would actually be willing to do the job. Refusing to do the job you're paid to do just seems, I don't know; futile, lazy, petulant, pointless. Surely the company is better off without you.

Perfect case in point to support my view...step forward Mr Tevez. I said step forward. STEP FORWARD. Get your arse up here now when I tell you to step forward...what's that...no? No?! I don't think you understand how this works old son!

Carlos Tevez apparently refused to play when told to get ready by boss Roberto Mancini last night in City's Champions League tie with Bayern. There is now a bit of backtracking and to-ing and fro-ing to suggest that may not quite be the case, but it was certainly how Mancini interpreted it in the moment and from my position it seems so...and surely Tevez could have stood up if there was some kind of confusion at the time and urged his manager to put him on.

It remains to be seen how this will play out, but I believe that given this latest drama, surely the biggest of his many indiscretions so far (bitching and moaning is one thing but at least he was always putting in a good shift), I believe that City should just get rid. It would serve him right if City use their unique financial position to simply withdraw him from competitive football, although presumably unless they can get him on some kind of breach of contract, he'll stick be picking up his obscene wage packet every week for doing nothing.

It's a shame because the talent that he possesses is without question. He was arguably the best player in the league last year and, if he had the right attitude, is perfectly placed to become a legend at City as the main man in what promises to be one of their most successful sides ever before too much longer. This talent is all spoiled however with the fact that he can be relied upon so often to demonstrate this arsehole nature of his that just as to unsettle things constantly.

It's difficult to be too critical if he genuinely just wants to go home and be with his family, but he has surely got enough money to never work again so he could just quit now and f**k off back to Buenos Aires if that was truly his sole motivation. I don't believe it for a second, and that is besides the point when considering last night's debacle - he wasn't going to get closer to his family in the final 30 minutes of the game so he is going to have to come up with a better excuse. Also the language barrier thing is a farce - City should just employ a private English tutor to make use of the hours of free time he has every day, and provide him with the help to get him talking. That way however he can't hide behind his usual 'lost in translation' bullsh*t.

I'll be watching with interest as to how this one pans out, and frankly I would like nothing better than to see the owners stick by their manager and cut their losses on the player who is becoming constantly more of a problem, when he was once so often the solution.

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A month or so ago I wrote a post inspired by the backheel penalty showboat antics of young Emirati striker Theyab Awana (or Awana Diab as he was reported at the time - not sure which is correct). It was sad to read yesterday of his death in a car accident in Abu Dhabi, aged just 21. No shock mind you - the roads out there are lethal and people often drive in a dangerous fashion so car accidents are common - but nevertheless a real shame to hear of the untimely and pointless death of someone clearly with a good life ahead of him. RIP.

Marquee Marq

Last week, Brazil heralded the fact that there are now less than 1000 days until the start of the 2014 World Cup. A long way off I'm sure you'll agree - just as well given the progress of some of the Brazilian plans - but despite this, here in Australia they have already begun the long road to Rio. Last month the Socceroo's scraped past a better than given credit for Thailand and in the next few weeks they face puntastic Oman. 'Oh Man am I looking forward to that game', etc.

Much like the eventually riot-removed England v Holland friendly, the Oman game is rather awkwardly scheduled for the Tuesday after the opening weekend of the 2011-12 A League campaign. Annoying, sure, but FIFA set their calendar way in advance so really the A League have brought it upon themselves, suggesting a fair degree of complicity/acceptance.

Now, here's where the problems begin.

This Australian Winter has seen two very significant pieces of business on the transfer front, with the arrival into Australian football of Aussie superstars Brett Emerton and Harry Kewell. They have brought a large amount of attention and exposure with them - vital, life-giving attention that the A League desperately needs to progress. This has been further increased with the fact that they have signed for Sydney FC and Melbourne Victory respectively. Although neither had particularly strong campaigns last year, and without doubt the stand out team in this competition is the all-conquering Brisbane Roar, the signings were a perfect fit for player and club, and the league in general. Sydney and Melbourne are the two biggest cities in this country. Conveniently, inevitably, they lean towards hating each other. The rivalry has existed for around a hundred years and even resulted in the creation of pointless nowhereville capital city Canberra being planned and built roughly halfway between the two, in a move akin to putting a mouse between two growling bulldogs and asking the mouse to shut the pair up. O Man that mouse never stood a chance.

Further to this, both clubs have enjoyed championship winning campaigns in recent years so they have the pedigree there to suggest they can make a charge at the top of the table. All in all, it is an exciting move which has everyone looking forward to the start of the season. Imagine the delight (or if I'm being cynical the crafty scheduling) when the first fixture thrown up to kick off the entire campaign was none other than Melbourne Victory v Sydney FC, down in Victoria. You Beaut. Perfect timing, the best possible way to capture the interest and pit your two marquee superstars against each other right from the off. With the game coming a week after the climax of the NRL and AFL seasons, the opportunity to grab some new spectators looking for a sporting fix is a dream come true for league promoters and organisers.

Now, remember I mentioned problems? Right, well - as if the Oman fixture on the Tuesday was not awkward enough, the genii (plural of genius, geniuses) behind the FFA have chucked in a friendly in awesome Canberra for the Friday. The night before the league's opening games. As if Canberra does not have enough on it's plate, you chuck this in the way to further rile the Sydney and Melbourne bulldogs. You've practically dipped the mouse in Pedigree Chum, geniuses...genii...wankers.

Pity poor Holger Osieck, coach of the national team, who must surely hate the fact that he is in this position. He has every right to call up the two stars and arguably an obligation and professional responsibility to do so. The unfortunate timing is not his fault and he would be remiss to jeopardise his team's chances of success by leaving out decent players.

However...

Surely to God, they will not relinquish the chance of a lifetime to boost the image and profile of the domestic game in order to put out the strongest side in a pointless friendly against Malaysia. It would be utter lunacy - the Victory Sydney clash with both the newbies playing is perfect - literally the precise fixture the league would pick as the opening game if they were allowed to. Get things off with a bang and then ride the wave. If it transpires that neither player is available due to their selection for international fixtures that, frankly, with almost three years until the tournament, no-one cares about; the people in charge want shooting.

I'm firmly with the clubs here. If you pay a hell of a lot of money for something, you are entitled to want to be able to use it and get the benefit from it. You don't want to buy a Ferrari only to be forced to loan it out and spend the big annual car parade driving your Skoda. Sure you get it back a week later, but the parade is over by then and who knows, it might even have a dent in it.
Incidentally if they do host a car parade they should call it Car-nival. Anyway.

The concept of 'marquee players' is clear and prevalent around the world - even in England clubs will have one eye on the marketability of any potential signing - but in the A League it is a clear and stated part of the policy. These big names are pivotal to the floating interest of the fans and none have been bigger than Daddy Cool and Emmo. It is vital that they are allowed to play in the most eagerly awaited A League clash in the short history of the competition, and if Australia care more about a friendly vs Malaysia than the health of their domestic league, then they may as well pull out of the race to the samba nation right now.

Man they look good

In what was a fairly mental game on Sunday, what with the comedy misses, all out action, uncharacteristic sloppiness and moments of brilliance, the bottom line was that Manchester United have emerged as the outright leader of this early Premier League table. Their 3-1 home win over Chelsea maintained their 100% record – the only team in all four divisions able to make such a claim – and gave them a 2 point advantage over rivals City.

Having been away for a couple of weeks and missed the previous week of fixtures, it was clear on my return that not much had changed. Reassuring in a way, to be able to go off the sporting radar completely (brilliant husband that I am) and return to it with the comfort and security of everything being as it should.

The only issue with that however, is that with United keeping up the frankly terrifying pace that they set in their first 3 games, the signs for the rest of the league are truly ominous.

There’s nothing that reassuring about the fact that Man United are still demolishing teams with emphatic ease. 21 goals scored in 5 games, a verve and movement to their attack that has not been seen since 2008, and the impressive impact of new signings both at the back and in attack; there are many reasons for United fans to be very pleased with life right now. For the rest of the league, it is a scary thought. Traditionally Ferguson’s men take their time to get going, before clicking into stride around Christmas and hunting down whichever vagabond had the temerity and audacity to set the early pace. If they continue this up for much longer, they could be out of sight before anyone has a chance to do anything about it.

Early season proclamations of supremacy should always be tempered with the reality that there is still a long season ahead and many things can change. The Chelsea Juggernaut looked unstoppable last season until coming off the road in spectacular fashion around November time. City were within a few minutes of keeping up the pace before losing the lead at Fulham and have still shown enough to suggest that they will keep the pressure on – and even the new boys this time have been putting up something of a fight. But I feel confident in stating this:

Any team that finishes above Manchester United in May 2012 will almost certainly be the Champions.

Speaking of Champions, Southampton have hit the dizzy heights of 1^st in the Championship, following an emphatic 4-1 win over Birmingham at the weekend. Saints have never been on a run like this in my life, and to think that one year ago we sat 22^nd in League One, the fact that we are now only 4 league places below Arsenal is staggering. I fully expect West Ham to run away with our division, and Leicester will most likely take second place once their new team settles in – but for the time being, and as long as this glorious form continues, no-one will want to face the Saints. COYR!

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Whilst I’ve been lucky enough to do a fair bit of travelling in my time, I’ve yet to visit a country where the global reach of the English Premier League has failed to take hold. Fiji was no different.

Talking to any locals, it was rarely long after identifying myself as English that the question would crop up about which football team did I like. Many of them surprisingly actually knew Southampton; mentions of The Dell, Le Tissier and, incredibly, Egil Ostenstad being high points of the banter. Those who didn’t still had a more than fleeting knowledge of the big guns of the Premier League, and were able to talk passionately about their favourites.

Fiji is primarily a rugby country and right now they are gripped with Rugby World Cup fever – the worryingly lax security at Nadi airport during the Flying Fijians opener against Namibia would be a hijacker’s dream. Want to take a plane for a spin? Just rock up on Sunday during Fiji v Samoa and take your pick. Along with the country coming to a standstill during their national team’s matches – and for me this is one of the truest barometer’s of a countries sporting roots – when you drove past a playing field or park, the kids there would all be playing with the egg shaped ball not the round one. Despite this, even in such a rugby stronghold, the tentacles of the ‘EPL’ had still taken hold. It really is the global game.

Fiji-la-la

Much like Francis Benali's first and only goal for Southampton, my honeymoon has taken far, far too long to come around, but hopefully it is going to just as spectacular. Maybe even more so... but let's not get ahead of ourselves.

Anyway, for the next fortnight I am going to be completely and utterly off the grid, relaxing in Fiji and trying to avoid becoming the latest piece of shark bait. Ergo, this blog is going to go a bit quiet for the next couple of weeks.

To keep you entertained and test my powers of prescience, here is a short list of things I predict will happen in the world of football whilst I'm away:

• England will all but seal qualification to Pukraine with a laboured 3-1 victory over Wales.
• Scott Parker will accidentally injure Gareth Bale, leaving Twitchy McScrotface in something of a pickle.
• The Republic of Ireland will give themselves every chance of joining Capello's men by beating Russia
• Scotland will do nothing of the sort, failing to beat Lithuania and thus ending the tiresome debate around the Czech penalty.
• Southampton will register their first draw of the season, 2-2 with Notts Forest
• Arsenal will drag their battered carcass off the floor and do enough to defeat Swansea, with Arteta putting in an encouraging display in midfield
• Tottenham's poor start goes from not great to slightly worrying when they are beaten by Wolves
• Both Manchesters show the first chinks in their armour, before ultimately prevailing and keeping up the pace with maximum points
• West Ham annhiliate Porstmouth with a clear display of intent for their campaign. Hopefully.
• I manage to find a way, even on a desert island in the middle of the South Pacific, to watch all of the above...

Have a nice couple of weeks!

Southampton will get back

Transfer Talk

September 1st heralds the start of Spring in Australia, marking the official end of Winter. Spring time is synonymous with new beginnings, things springing to life and bursting into colour. How apt then that this coincides with the closure of the Premier League transfer window - for many players the frantic final day sets off a new beginning and a fresh start with a new club.

Often there can be blockbuster deals and big surprises - Robinho to City, Tevez & Mascherano to West Ham, and the Torres/Carroll/Suarez three way all spring to mind from recent deadline days. This year there was arguably a shortage of stunners, however there are many interesting deals which could go either way for club and player. In no particular order I've picked out five deadline day deals that for me stand out as amongst the most intriguing:

Acronym Heaven: SWP to QPR.
Shaun Wright-Phillips has taken what is undoubtedly a step down - City are going to win things this year and will be competing with the elite. For him personally however, this is no bad thing at all. Already a fringe player, forced ever closer to the periphery with the acquisition of Samir Nasri, little Sweep was never going to be much more than a Carling Cup player for City. There is a line in the piece of damn-near musical perfection 'Wish you were here' by Pink Floyd that asks: "Did you exchange a walk-on part in the war, for a lead role in a cage?" Arguably SWP has swapped a walk-on part in a cage for the lead role in a war, and fair play to him. This willingness to take a step down in search of playing time and competitive action is credible, he could easily have 'done a Bogarde'. If this move serves to reinvigorate Wright-Phillips and he can reclaim the form that he showed in both his early years and then his prodigal return to Manchester, then he is sure to regain the respect that was ever-diminishing. Moreover, if QPR can produce from their new winger the form that they know he is capable of, he will surely play a key role in what looks likely to be a season of struggle for the Hoops. This one is - form permitting - a no brainer.

Arsene found his chequebook: Mikel Arteta to Arsenal
Arteta has been at Everton since 2005, and for significant spells in the last 6 years has looked like a player who is easily capable of operating at a table topping/Champions League level. Now thrust into the big time spotlight, at perhaps the most difficult and volatile time in Arsenal's last 15 years, boy does he need to show it. It remains to be seen what shirt number Arteta will acquire, but whatever he wears, the fact is simple - it may say Arteta on your back, but it used to say Fabregas. The Everton playmaker needs to fill the creative void that Cesc has created in moving to Barcelona - a move which incidentally seems to be going ever so well for him to say the least - and the truth is that for the past season and a half, injuries and stuttering form have seen Arteta's light burn somewhat less brightly than it can do. A busy day for Arsenal, made practically mandatory after the 8-2 mauling, could well have a revitalising effect on the club who still have every chance of salvaging their season and getting back up there with the big boys. Arteta will have a week or so to understand his role and the onus will be on him to hit the ground running. This could possibly be a huge signing by Wenger and with a first choice eleven that looks something like: Shez, Sagna, Vermaelen, Mertesacker, Gibbs; Wilshere, Song, Arteta; Walcott, RVP, Gervinho - and Benayoun, Arshavin, Frimpong, Ramsey, Djourou, Koscielny all in reserve, the dark clouds over the Emirates just might start lifting.

Bonjour, Je m'appelle Joe: Joe Cole to Lille
I always love it when English players opt to move overseas, and for years I have been in despair about the scarcity with which it occurs. Never have I celebrated a Real Madrid goal more than England's David Beckham lofting a great ball over the Barca defence, for England's Michael Owen to chase down and slot home. It should be a source of pride for English football fans to have our players spread far and wide across the footballing globe, demonstrating to all what we can produce. In the last ten years however it has been all too rare. One year ago, many people predicted Joe Cole to Liverpool to turn out as one of the signings of the summer. From day one it never worked out for Joe, and the truth could well be that sometimes, certain players and clubs just do not work. Often it does not mean that the player has lost the ability to play football altogether, just that a change of scene is required. The decline may not be as terminal as feared. In choosing to go overseas to Ligue 1 Cole has made a fairly humble and tacit admission that things at Liverpool just weren't right, and now with a chance to rebuild he can salvage the remaining years of his career. One of the most technically gifted English players of his generation, Cole always seemed one of the best suited to a more skilled form of football, hopefully he will thrive in a new country, new culture, and new football club. With Euro 2012 looming as the incentive at the end of this season, Cole might just be making one last throw of the dice. Bonne Chance, Monsieur Cole.

Prove it, Big Mouth: Nicklas Bendtner to Sunderland
If Nicklas Bendtner had his own Facebook page, he would 'like' it. If Nicklas Bendtner operated his own pay TV channel, he'd subscribe to it. If Nicklas Bendtner was an ice cream, he'd lick...OK, you get the picture. Our man NB52 is not short on self confidence. Well my friend, now's the time to prove it. Likely to be given a regular starting slot alongside Asamoah Gyan, Bendtner can no longer hide and needs to start delivering on his claims. Steve Bruce is in no doubt and arguably has seen or produced the best out of Bendtner, whilst on loan at Birmingham, but the jury is out on what he can really achieve. Certainly the potential - and the stature - is huge, but as with his last minute fluff against Barcelona last season, he can often look somewhat 'unco' as they say over here. Now's your chance, Mr Ego, show us and Wenger what you can do.

If Owen'ly he wasn't broken: Owen Hargreaves to Man City
First things first, there is absolutely no risk here for City, as quite simply they don't care about finances. Obviously that is overstating the point, but the reality is no club in the world is as able to absorb a possible financial loss as the Abu Dhabi backed Sky Blues. The big risk with poor Hargreaves is that he is unable to recover from the devastating injury problems that have haunted him for the last three years, problems significant enough to prevent many clubs from offering him a deal. I love Owen Hargreaves - he was England's stand-out performer at the 2006 World Cup, heroic in his efforts against Portugal, and more than that he has always seemed the sort of bloke that you would go for a beer with. That barometer - the pint test - is one which far too many England internationals fail, but Hargreaves never did anything to make you question his character. He will know as well as anyone that he is unlikely to displace the excellent Nigel De Jong, but for me he is comfortably better than Gareth Barry even with Barry's improved form. City will be fighting on numerous fronts this year and will require solid back-up, which, if he is fit, there is no doubt he can provide. That 'if' should be in 50 point font though, this whole deal hinges on it. Fingers crossed for you Owen, and let us know if you fancy that pint.

As a final word, there is something else significant about the date today. Ten years ago today, Sven Goran Eriksson's England beat Germany 5-1 in Munich. What a day that was. Wait, did you just say ten years ago, no, that can't be right, why I remember it as if it was only...oh bloody hell, yep, it was ten years. A decade.

There's no avoiding it friends...I'm getting old.