With two weeks to go now until the World Cup, below is a list of 10 things you just know will happen:
1) Mild-mannered people will hurl foul profanities at their telly when Andy Townsend speaks. The man who puts the ‘anal’ in analysis, by talking out of his arse at every opportunity. Seems to think that he is catering for a blind audience: “ It’s a great pass there, a lovely touch and then he’s slotted it past the keeper.” Thanks. For. That.
2) Keepers will moan about the ball: it’s too round, it curves too much, I broke a nail – whatever, just stop moaning! They forget that those of us who play at amateur level are force to deal with a sack of balls invariably including Flat Stanley who refuses to accept the air you pump in to him; the Stinger which will remove any skin it comes into contact with, and of course The Rock – deceptively heavy and capable of crushing the vertebrae of any fool who goes for a header.
3) Someone will get themselves a lucrative move to an English club…then do precisely nothing. Kleberson, anyone?
4) Pele will revise his ‘African country to win the world cup by 2000’ to ‘African country to reach the quarter finals by 2010’ and then get all superior and smug when it happens. Yeah, still can’t get it up though can you mate.
5) Men around the world will fall in love with some ludicrously fit fans spotted in the crowds. The absence of Sweden makes this one touch and go admittedly, but expect Brazil to feature heavily.
6) An incident will occur which reignites the debate over goal line technology. There is no bloody debate, it should have been put in place years ago, someone will be the next high-profile victim of this with a Geoff Hurst style did it cross the line decision left to human eyes which have no chance of being completely accurate. Particularly if they are looking at item 5 on this list.
7) Mark Lawrenson will make a ‘joke’ that Motson allows to hang for a few excruciating seconds of silence, to allow the watching public to understand what he's had to put up with for twenty years. Lawro, please stop. Puns on ‘amusing’ foreign names are always the likeliest target for his own brand of ball-achingly bad humour.
8) The biggest cheer during one of England’s uninspiring group games will be when David Beckham is spotted in the crowd and shown on the big screen.
9) One of the underdog nations will go improbably far in the tournament and provide some incredible drama in the process. A lowly Fifa ranking gives Bafana Bafana underdog status but they may surprise; other ‘everyone’s second team’ candidates include Honduras, New Zealand and the always cavalier South Korea. Recent events may have counted against North Korea's chance of picking up the neutral vote...
10) Germany will win a penalty shoot-out.
Friday, 28 May 2010
Thursday, 27 May 2010
Five will make you get down now
Listed here are the five players in no particular order who I predict will make the biggest impact on the World Cup this Summer. Agree/Disagree? Let me know!
#5: Aaron Walcott
A deliberate typo to indicate the fact that Lennon and Walcott are likely to share the responsibility of burning down England's right flank. Much criticism is aimed at Walcott in terms of his final ball - often seemingly a result of poor decision making; whilst Lennon has missed a significant part of the season and has looked tentative in his first few matches back.
#3 Kaka
#5: Aaron Walcott
A deliberate typo to indicate the fact that Lennon and Walcott are likely to share the responsibility of burning down England's right flank. Much criticism is aimed at Walcott in terms of his final ball - often seemingly a result of poor decision making; whilst Lennon has missed a significant part of the season and has looked tentative in his first few matches back.
Despite this, not one defender will relish the prospect of facing either of these two. Sheer, blistering and unstoppable pace is the key feature of this pair - and happily is pretty much the most difficult thing to defend against. The likelihood of Capello using one of these as a starter with the other as an impact replacement gives England an undeniable threat and their performances on that right wing will be critical to the progress of the Three Lions.
As previously blogged, if Walcott receives the confidence boost of an early goal or strong performance against the USA, he is more than capable of taking the tournament by storm. Lennon likewise will be hoping he gets the nod and England will hope he can go on to terrorise left backs right into the latter stages.
#4 Diego Milito
Argentina's attacking riches are almost embarrassing. A quick look through the excellent and in-no-way only for kids Panini sticker album (see blog below) lists Higuain, Tevez, Milito, Aguero and then some bloke called Messi.
Doubtless, the focus for opposition managers will be how to stop Leo Messi. Despite playing at times like he is from another planet, he is only human and can be subdued by doubling or even tripling up on him. This does however result in more space being available for those who know how to exploit it, and Milito has shown throughout this season that he is the man to do that. His team-mates are likely to fashion numerous chances and he has to be viewed as a strong candidate for the Golden Boot.
Milito has scored the winning goals for Inter in the Serie A finale; the Coppa Italia; and the Champions League final. Manu Petit could tell you that sometimes, some years, your numbers just keep coming up. Could there be one more highlight for Diego to round off 2010?
#3 Kaka12 months ago, Ricardo Izecson dos Santos Leite was viewed as one of the greatest talents on the planet. Fast-forward, and a disappointing season for Real Madrid - interrupted by injury but marked by underachievement - has taken a great deal of the spotlight away from this Brazilian playmaker.
The old adage applies here: 'form is temporary, class is permanent'. Kaka has not become useless overnight and, in the absence of Adriano, Ronaldinho, Ronaldo et al he will now be the lynchpin of the Selecao. Robinho's Santos siesta has worked wonders for his form, but Kaka can be the man to carry Brazil all the way.
A difficult group including a climactic face-off against fellow Galactico Cristiano Ronaldo will give Kaka the perfect chance to remind the world of his exceptional ability.
#2 Robin Van Persie
Wayne Rooney remarked recently that in fact his enforced absence during the latter stages of the season may well be a positive; identifying the fact that a rest is crucial in order to go into a World Cup without the jading effects of a long and bruising season.
Van Persie's injury lay-off was fatal to Arsenal's chances of glory this season, but it could prove ideal for the Oranje at this tournament. His scoring record is incredible given the disruption he has suffered through an appalling injury record over the years, and two expertly taken goals in a friendly win over Mexico this week showed he is back from his break sharp and dangerous as ever.
The Netherlands have a strong chance of making a real impact at this tournament - a flawless coast through qualifying and a number of players playing to their creative peak at present (Sneijder is unfortunate to miss out on this top 5) point towards the chance for van Persie to dominate this summer.
#1 Lionel Messi.
Can he do it?
This season has seen football by Messi that is at times simply untouchable.
Peerless in the modern game (Ronaldo has hit incredible peaks but is just not at this level) he has scored every type of goal, not to mention the amount of chances he creates for his team-mates. During the group stages it is frightening to think of the damage he could inflict on the weaker defences of Greece, Nigeria and South Korea - but it is in the later stages of this tournament where Messi can cement his status as an all-time legend.
It is widely regarded that Diego Maradona won the 1986 World Cup for Argentina single handedly (pun intended, little cheat) and whilst Messi has a strong attacking line-up to support him, he is undoubtedly the focus of this team.
The balance, strength, trickery, pace and composure are impossible to defend against when it all falls into place. Clearly, if they have half a brain, teams are going to give special attention to taking Messi out of the equation - but this is where legends are made and icons created.
If he can perform to his peak, and his team-mates can provide the same level of support that Barca can (albeit without the exceptional Xavi/Iniesta combo), and Maradona does not screw it up with bizarre selections and tactics, 2010 could be his tournament.
Tuesday, 25 May 2010
Age ain't nothing but a number
World Cups represent excellent markers in life - so much happens in between but if ever you need to recall something and place it at a particular time, nothing helps to pin down a point in your life as a handily placed World Cup.
For something that feels like such an integral, fundamental feature of growing up, they are actually pretty rare. My first memories of the World Cup come from 1990, and my hero at the time, Gary Lineker (maybe it's an ear thing). Since then age 6, there have only been 4 tournaments. When you consider it that way, really 26 is no age whatsoever, and I can hope to see maybe another 10-15 tournaments at a stretch.
All of this serves as absolute justification for my most recent (and many would say best) purchase...the Panini Offical World Cup 2010 Sticker Album.
So far I have been swept away on the excitement of it, but I spent the first 2/3 transactions playing it off as though I was buying them for 'my cousin'. Now I have realised this fradulent behaviour needs to stop, and insted I try to avoid the 'you're too old for this' glances from the cashier.
It is bloody brilliant though. The nostalgia that comes from collecting stickers (my last was Premier League 96, completed, still got it in the loft) is a perfect accompaniment to the unavoidable nostalgia of an imminent World Cup. With this tournament rolling around, minds turn back to previous tournaments - where you were, who you watched it with, what you were doing at that time in your life - and the juvenile excitement when you crack open a fresh pack of stickers comes highly recommended. I say there is no shame in getting swept away with all the trappings of a World Cup, and this sticker album is just one of them. I hope the day never comes when I feel too old to get into stuff like this...
Today I got my first shiny - the Cameroon team badge - and was smiling like an idiot walking back to the office. The fact that my next pack contained TWO SHINYS completely made my day.
It is probably going to consume way too much of my small change in the coming weeks, and may well result in some awkward brush with the law when I need to explain my loitering presence around nearby school playgrounds - but completing this album is now an obsession. I would love to hear from anyone who has fallen victim to this cruel temptress as well - so far I've got two doubles, Eric Abidal and Carlos Salcido. Abidal looks like he belongs in JLS - Salcido looks like he belongs in hospital.
I know people say crack is addictive but it can't have anything on the addictiveness of these stickers - the highs won't be able to compete either. Mind you, crack is probably cheaper.
For something that feels like such an integral, fundamental feature of growing up, they are actually pretty rare. My first memories of the World Cup come from 1990, and my hero at the time, Gary Lineker (maybe it's an ear thing). Since then age 6, there have only been 4 tournaments. When you consider it that way, really 26 is no age whatsoever, and I can hope to see maybe another 10-15 tournaments at a stretch.
All of this serves as absolute justification for my most recent (and many would say best) purchase...the Panini Offical World Cup 2010 Sticker Album.
So far I have been swept away on the excitement of it, but I spent the first 2/3 transactions playing it off as though I was buying them for 'my cousin'. Now I have realised this fradulent behaviour needs to stop, and insted I try to avoid the 'you're too old for this' glances from the cashier.
It is bloody brilliant though. The nostalgia that comes from collecting stickers (my last was Premier League 96, completed, still got it in the loft) is a perfect accompaniment to the unavoidable nostalgia of an imminent World Cup. With this tournament rolling around, minds turn back to previous tournaments - where you were, who you watched it with, what you were doing at that time in your life - and the juvenile excitement when you crack open a fresh pack of stickers comes highly recommended. I say there is no shame in getting swept away with all the trappings of a World Cup, and this sticker album is just one of them. I hope the day never comes when I feel too old to get into stuff like this...
Today I got my first shiny - the Cameroon team badge - and was smiling like an idiot walking back to the office. The fact that my next pack contained TWO SHINYS completely made my day.
It is probably going to consume way too much of my small change in the coming weeks, and may well result in some awkward brush with the law when I need to explain my loitering presence around nearby school playgrounds - but completing this album is now an obsession. I would love to hear from anyone who has fallen victim to this cruel temptress as well - so far I've got two doubles, Eric Abidal and Carlos Salcido. Abidal looks like he belongs in JLS - Salcido looks like he belongs in hospital.
I know people say crack is addictive but it can't have anything on the addictiveness of these stickers - the highs won't be able to compete either. Mind you, crack is probably cheaper.
Monday, 24 May 2010
The Fallout Shelter
Each week this column will reflect on the weekend's football and what it all means. Has the world changed? Will all life henceforth be unrecognisable? Are you reading too much into the name of this column? Should we drop the flimsy metaphor?
This weekend, above many others, did in fact result in some incredible action that will leave a lasting effect on the world of football.
First things first, Blackpool in the Premier League?! This team have the second lowest attendance in the Championship - the average last year was around 8000 - and will now be somehow trying to compete with some of the richest clubs in the world. On the one hand, from a neutral point of view it is fantastic to see that resources aren't everything, and underdogs such as Blackpool can earn their shot at the big boys week in week out. However - like Burnley before them - you can't help but fear for their prospects.
The Chief Exec was on Sky Sports News on Sunday morning and was making all the right noise about not over-stretching, living within their means, and rightly identified West Brom as a good model to follow in terms of boinging between the leagues. But is this really what you want? Do West Brom fans enjoy the seasons of success in the Championship more than the struggles of the Premier League? Is the glory of promotion tempered with the knowledge that you're going to get smashed most weeks and win a handful of games all year? Do Blackpool fans care one bit that they are not likely to do well, given that at least they are there? Am I just bitter and jealous that joke clubs like this can make it and my own is still languishing in League One?!
Whatever the answers may be, it is certainly a credit to the players and manager of Blackpool that they have achieved this, and I'm sure they will get their traditional one glorious win against a big gun to make it all worthwhile. Ian Holloway is going to be well worth a watch every week - but it is almost impossible to see anything other than a very swift return for the Seasiders.
--------------------------------------------
The other showpiece game of this weekend from El Santiago Bernabeu was maybe not up to the goals-a-plenty thrilling action of the Play-off Final, but nonetheless made for an absorbing and interesting spectacle.
Diego Milito's finishing was exemplary - the composure to feint the keeper and lift it over him for the opener was world class; and the second goal was all his own work. Van Buyten will not be happy with how easily he allowed himself to be turned inside out, but Milito was in complete control and did everything right. His hold-up play in particular was ominous - if the other Argentinian Diego was watching, he'll have been delighted with the prospect of this centre forward winning the ball and laying it off to Messi, Aguero and Tevez. This physical and aerial presence gives Argentina another attacking option which will cause all kinds of problems in South Africa.
Bayern sorely missed thier Boglin on the left wing. The over-reliance on Robben, who competed admirably in the circumstances (despite the odd dive), made Inter's defensive job that much easier - in the same way that Iniesta's semi-final absence left Barca turning too often to Messi; Bayern were too predictable in attack and at this level one player can't do it alone. The statistical superiority for Bayern does not tell the full story; as Inter were content to give them possession and territorial advantage, knowing that the ultimate breakthrough was never there. Muller's chance at the very start of the second half was the only real clear sight of goal, and he will not be sleeping comfortably yet for nightmares about that miss.
Jose Mourinho was refreshingly gracious and honest after the game and even looked happy, going against his usual 'Brain' demeanour. Clearly he seems destined to return to the Bernabeu (wonder how Pellegrini feels...'um excuse me guys, I'm right here'...) but it will be fascinating to see how this latest journey on his juggernaut of success turns out. Will the Madridista's settle for the type of negative and dour display that so many of Mourinho's teams have showcased over the years; or is their desire to usurp Barca such that his win at all costs mentality will suit them just fine? El Gran Classico next year will be an absolute must-see.
This weekend, above many others, did in fact result in some incredible action that will leave a lasting effect on the world of football.
First things first, Blackpool in the Premier League?! This team have the second lowest attendance in the Championship - the average last year was around 8000 - and will now be somehow trying to compete with some of the richest clubs in the world. On the one hand, from a neutral point of view it is fantastic to see that resources aren't everything, and underdogs such as Blackpool can earn their shot at the big boys week in week out. However - like Burnley before them - you can't help but fear for their prospects.
The Chief Exec was on Sky Sports News on Sunday morning and was making all the right noise about not over-stretching, living within their means, and rightly identified West Brom as a good model to follow in terms of boinging between the leagues. But is this really what you want? Do West Brom fans enjoy the seasons of success in the Championship more than the struggles of the Premier League? Is the glory of promotion tempered with the knowledge that you're going to get smashed most weeks and win a handful of games all year? Do Blackpool fans care one bit that they are not likely to do well, given that at least they are there? Am I just bitter and jealous that joke clubs like this can make it and my own is still languishing in League One?!
Whatever the answers may be, it is certainly a credit to the players and manager of Blackpool that they have achieved this, and I'm sure they will get their traditional one glorious win against a big gun to make it all worthwhile. Ian Holloway is going to be well worth a watch every week - but it is almost impossible to see anything other than a very swift return for the Seasiders.
--------------------------------------------
The other showpiece game of this weekend from El Santiago Bernabeu was maybe not up to the goals-a-plenty thrilling action of the Play-off Final, but nonetheless made for an absorbing and interesting spectacle.
Diego Milito's finishing was exemplary - the composure to feint the keeper and lift it over him for the opener was world class; and the second goal was all his own work. Van Buyten will not be happy with how easily he allowed himself to be turned inside out, but Milito was in complete control and did everything right. His hold-up play in particular was ominous - if the other Argentinian Diego was watching, he'll have been delighted with the prospect of this centre forward winning the ball and laying it off to Messi, Aguero and Tevez. This physical and aerial presence gives Argentina another attacking option which will cause all kinds of problems in South Africa.
Bayern sorely missed thier Boglin on the left wing. The over-reliance on Robben, who competed admirably in the circumstances (despite the odd dive), made Inter's defensive job that much easier - in the same way that Iniesta's semi-final absence left Barca turning too often to Messi; Bayern were too predictable in attack and at this level one player can't do it alone. The statistical superiority for Bayern does not tell the full story; as Inter were content to give them possession and territorial advantage, knowing that the ultimate breakthrough was never there. Muller's chance at the very start of the second half was the only real clear sight of goal, and he will not be sleeping comfortably yet for nightmares about that miss.
Jose Mourinho was refreshingly gracious and honest after the game and even looked happy, going against his usual 'Brain' demeanour. Clearly he seems destined to return to the Bernabeu (wonder how Pellegrini feels...'um excuse me guys, I'm right here'...) but it will be fascinating to see how this latest journey on his juggernaut of success turns out. Will the Madridista's settle for the type of negative and dour display that so many of Mourinho's teams have showcased over the years; or is their desire to usurp Barca such that his win at all costs mentality will suit them just fine? El Gran Classico next year will be an absolute must-see.
-----------------------
In the preview column prior to the game I predicted a 3-1 Inter win. Given that 2-0 is a 2 clear goal advantage, and Muller should have scored, and Inter would have got a third on the break if Bayern pushed forward, I think I'll claim the moral victory there, post all congratulations/amazement below...
Friday, 21 May 2010
New Nike ad, budget-tastic
Well, what kind of blogger would I be if I didn't pick up on trends across the social network/blog-o-sphere?
Every time a major tournament rolls around the big guns from beer and sport always bring out something special for an advertising campaign to run in the build-up and throughout the tournament. Carlsberg got in early this time with their utterly brilliant England Team Talk offering, and now Oregon's finest have entered the fight.
In case you haven't seen it (and spotters badge here goes to Mike Chalmers), click on the link below for Nike's World Cup advert, this time the theme is 'Write The Future' (now that would be a good name for a blog, damn it)
http://vimeo.com/11896489
The first TV airing of it will be during the Champs League final - see my earlier post below for a preview of that - and I must say it is pretty freaking awesome.
The production values are ludicrous, they even have Homer Simpson as a guest star. (C-Ron is not even the first footballer named Ronaldo to meet Homer Simpson though, fact). Rooney does a decent job although as always his work effort drags him horribly out of position, and Nike must hate Dunga for not even picking Ronaldinho.
Dare I say it, I reckon this even beats the 'Brazil squad in the airport' one from 98...
Every time a major tournament rolls around the big guns from beer and sport always bring out something special for an advertising campaign to run in the build-up and throughout the tournament. Carlsberg got in early this time with their utterly brilliant England Team Talk offering, and now Oregon's finest have entered the fight.
In case you haven't seen it (and spotters badge here goes to Mike Chalmers), click on the link below for Nike's World Cup advert, this time the theme is 'Write The Future' (now that would be a good name for a blog, damn it)
http://vimeo.com/11896489
The first TV airing of it will be during the Champs League final - see my earlier post below for a preview of that - and I must say it is pretty freaking awesome.
The production values are ludicrous, they even have Homer Simpson as a guest star. (C-Ron is not even the first footballer named Ronaldo to meet Homer Simpson though, fact). Rooney does a decent job although as always his work effort drags him horribly out of position, and Nike must hate Dunga for not even picking Ronaldinho.
Dare I say it, I reckon this even beats the 'Brazil squad in the airport' one from 98...
Yes way, Jose
Tomorrow evening the Champions League final takes place at the Bernabeu in Madrid, unique in that it's the first time since 2004 that no English team will be competing, and secondly that it has been moved to a Saturday kick off.
Both of these factors (primarily the former) have combined to make the biggest game in domestic football seem rather overlooked and forgotten this time around. Doubtless, bosses at ITV must be devastated that they don't have a showcase Man U v Chelsea or either of them against Barcelona to bring in the viewers; instead you can't help but thinking the majority of people switching on Channel 3 tomorrow night will be wondering where Britain's Got Retarded Delusionals has gone to.
Despite this, or maybe because of it, I think this final promises to be one of the most intriguing and fascinating for years. Both managers have proven themselves at the highest level and have overcome the odds to get to Madrid in the first place.
I thought Bayern's spirit to get past United, even when 3-0 down on the night, was incredible - and the tactical/anti-football masterclass conducted by Mourinho at Camp Nou was impressive to say the least.
In Wesley Sneijder and Arjen Robben you have two of the Champions League's best performers of this year - Robben's goal to eliminate United and Sneijder's orchestration of the Stamford Bridge victory should give serious optimism to fans of the Oranje this summer. Franck Ribery (remember Boglins?) will be a big miss for Bayern but the likes of Muller and Schweinsteiger could easily cause problems - and at the other end Samuel Eto'o always seems to score in the biggest games.
In defending for 90 minutes solid at the Nou Camp, Inter Milan showed a resilience that I found massively impressive - Lucio in particular was flawless. A major factor in that however was the admission, tacit or otherwise, that they were facing a far stronger team in Barcelona - a team who as Arsenal found out, can tear you to shreds if you take the game to them and leave gaps.
Going into this final there is little between the two teams and certainly neither would regard themselves as incapable of competing with the other. This poses the dilemna for Mourinho - having displayed such immense defensive organisation and strength, should he send his team out to do more of the same against an opponent who may not be able to pose the same threat as Barca? Or do they go for it and abandon the strategy that got them through?
Bayern meanwhile as mentioned above seem to be based on, above all else, an excellent collective will and team spirit. In the semi final they were underdogs (and got some incredibly lucky decisions just to get there) but now they must surely have a huge belief in themselves to go on and win the lot. Indeed, watching their Bundesliga celebrations it seems to be a happy squad!!
All in all I think it is finely poised to be a great game. Both teams are able to win the domestic treble by taking the trophy, and both managers would be winning it with a second club.
But which way is it going to go? I'll stick my neck on the line, and to literally put my money where my mouth is I promise to also put a bet on at the bookies for the following:
Inter to win, 3-1, Samuel Eto'o opening the scoring.
Let me know what you think, and if it turns out to be a stinker of a game then I'm sure they'll repeat Strictly All along the yellow brick road on Ice for you. Weirdo.
Both of these factors (primarily the former) have combined to make the biggest game in domestic football seem rather overlooked and forgotten this time around. Doubtless, bosses at ITV must be devastated that they don't have a showcase Man U v Chelsea or either of them against Barcelona to bring in the viewers; instead you can't help but thinking the majority of people switching on Channel 3 tomorrow night will be wondering where Britain's Got Retarded Delusionals has gone to.
Despite this, or maybe because of it, I think this final promises to be one of the most intriguing and fascinating for years. Both managers have proven themselves at the highest level and have overcome the odds to get to Madrid in the first place.
I thought Bayern's spirit to get past United, even when 3-0 down on the night, was incredible - and the tactical/anti-football masterclass conducted by Mourinho at Camp Nou was impressive to say the least.
In Wesley Sneijder and Arjen Robben you have two of the Champions League's best performers of this year - Robben's goal to eliminate United and Sneijder's orchestration of the Stamford Bridge victory should give serious optimism to fans of the Oranje this summer. Franck Ribery (remember Boglins?) will be a big miss for Bayern but the likes of Muller and Schweinsteiger could easily cause problems - and at the other end Samuel Eto'o always seems to score in the biggest games.
In defending for 90 minutes solid at the Nou Camp, Inter Milan showed a resilience that I found massively impressive - Lucio in particular was flawless. A major factor in that however was the admission, tacit or otherwise, that they were facing a far stronger team in Barcelona - a team who as Arsenal found out, can tear you to shreds if you take the game to them and leave gaps.
Going into this final there is little between the two teams and certainly neither would regard themselves as incapable of competing with the other. This poses the dilemna for Mourinho - having displayed such immense defensive organisation and strength, should he send his team out to do more of the same against an opponent who may not be able to pose the same threat as Barca? Or do they go for it and abandon the strategy that got them through?
Bayern meanwhile as mentioned above seem to be based on, above all else, an excellent collective will and team spirit. In the semi final they were underdogs (and got some incredibly lucky decisions just to get there) but now they must surely have a huge belief in themselves to go on and win the lot. Indeed, watching their Bundesliga celebrations it seems to be a happy squad!!
All in all I think it is finely poised to be a great game. Both teams are able to win the domestic treble by taking the trophy, and both managers would be winning it with a second club.
But which way is it going to go? I'll stick my neck on the line, and to literally put my money where my mouth is I promise to also put a bet on at the bookies for the following:
Inter to win, 3-1, Samuel Eto'o opening the scoring.
Let me know what you think, and if it turns out to be a stinker of a game then I'm sure they'll repeat Strictly All along the yellow brick road on Ice for you. Weirdo.
Wednesday, 19 May 2010
Shake the Green Field
For the last few months, FIFA has been running a competition inviting fans to submit a slogan to adorn the team bus of their nation during the World Cup. They have announced the winning entries, and there are some absolute stormers.
The full list is available here. Many teams have gone predictably for a passionate, motivational message presumably designed to fire up their team:
Argentina: Last stop: Glory!
Ivory Coast: Elephants, let’s fight for victory!
Slovenia: With eleven brave hearts to the end!
There is a fine line however between sending out a determined message and sounding like you are slightly unhinged…
THE SAMURAI SPIRIT NEVER DIES! VICTORY JAPAN!
Easy lads. No-one needs to die.
Perhaps they should have taken the lead from some other nations who have taken a far softer approach:
‘All you need is a Danish team and a dream’; ‘Italian Azzurro under African Sky’; ‘Ghana – The hope of Africa’ (bless).
England’s understated ‘Playing with Pride and Glory’ doesn’t really do it for me, but at least it basically fulfills the brief. One country in particular seem to have mistaken this competition as ‘describe your national chat up technique:’
‘Play with the heart, lead with a smile!’ (Go on you cheeky Serbians). Continuing the bar theme, albeit this time describing the vibe in a gay bar, is the host nations effort: ‘One nation, proudly united under one rainbow’. I know it’s the rainbow nation but I surely can’t be the only one who just thinks….’bit gay’.
I can’t decide on my favourite, but there are two that stand head and shoulders above the rest for me. I’ll leave it to you to pick the best, but clearly these are brilliant:
‘Shake the green field: Go Slovakia!’
And then the simple but masterful:
‘Kickin’ it, Kiwi style.’
-------------------------------------
The Guardian today posted a list of some of the best goals to be scored across Europe this year, and I’d strongly recommend it as a good way to kill 5/10 minutes (having initially turned to this fine publication of course). I had not seen a few of these and there are some screamers, notably from the Bundesliga and the Austrian League, as well as some Le Tissier-esque skill from Maicon, who it turns out is actually called Douglas Maicon. Not quite so glamorous now are ya, Doug.
Enjoy
The full list is available here. Many teams have gone predictably for a passionate, motivational message presumably designed to fire up their team:
Argentina: Last stop: Glory!
Ivory Coast: Elephants, let’s fight for victory!
Slovenia: With eleven brave hearts to the end!
There is a fine line however between sending out a determined message and sounding like you are slightly unhinged…
THE SAMURAI SPIRIT NEVER DIES! VICTORY JAPAN!
Easy lads. No-one needs to die.
Perhaps they should have taken the lead from some other nations who have taken a far softer approach:
‘All you need is a Danish team and a dream’; ‘Italian Azzurro under African Sky’; ‘Ghana – The hope of Africa’ (bless).
England’s understated ‘Playing with Pride and Glory’ doesn’t really do it for me, but at least it basically fulfills the brief. One country in particular seem to have mistaken this competition as ‘describe your national chat up technique:’
‘Play with the heart, lead with a smile!’ (Go on you cheeky Serbians). Continuing the bar theme, albeit this time describing the vibe in a gay bar, is the host nations effort: ‘One nation, proudly united under one rainbow’. I know it’s the rainbow nation but I surely can’t be the only one who just thinks….’bit gay’.
I can’t decide on my favourite, but there are two that stand head and shoulders above the rest for me. I’ll leave it to you to pick the best, but clearly these are brilliant:
‘Shake the green field: Go Slovakia!’
And then the simple but masterful:
‘Kickin’ it, Kiwi style.’
-------------------------------------
The Guardian today posted a list of some of the best goals to be scored across Europe this year, and I’d strongly recommend it as a good way to kill 5/10 minutes (having initially turned to this fine publication of course). I had not seen a few of these and there are some screamers, notably from the Bundesliga and the Austrian League, as well as some Le Tissier-esque skill from Maicon, who it turns out is actually called Douglas Maicon. Not quite so glamorous now are ya, Doug.
Enjoy
Monday, 17 May 2010
I've seen the future
Last week at the O2 arena (it doesn't matter why I was there) I visited a virtual living room that Sky had set up, complete with a 52" telly hooked up to Sky 3D. They had a promo video about 3 minutes long showing off the technology that will be coming to living rooms of the better off than me later this year.
It started off with some arty shots of dancing and of course the obligatory slow motion wildlife footage...then the sport kicked in. First they tease you with a glimpse of teams walking out at the Emirates (United v Arsenal from this year) until the backing track reaches crescendo and they throw down 4 Aces...
To say it is impressive is to say Kevin-Prince Boateng is off Michael Ballack's Christmas card list. It was absolutely stunning; completely and utterly mind-blowing. The illusion of depth that is created adds so much to the overall picture of the game it's untrue; and the colour/picture is so immersive it makes Pandora look like that bit of Croydon once you go past Forbidden Planet. For any non-Croydon based readers, I think the word is 'shit'.
They had a few neat tricks, such as tennis serves that kick up right out of the screen and a rugby ball tossed down in celebration that pings up into your face; and these were all very cool and novel - but it was the overall level to which it improved the viewing experience which blew me away.
When you go to a live match and sit towards the centre of the pitch, particularly if you are quite high up, it always strikes me how much better you can see the game unfolding than when sat behind a goal or right at ground level. Unfortunately with Saints this often means spotting a pass that our player will never see, or (more often) identifying the player who is about to score against you eons before any of our defenders will ever cotton on.
To me, this 3D viewing did exactly that - and made normal terrestrial football coverage like sitting in Row 1, behind the goal, embracing a pillar.
I am sceptical as to whether it will truly catch on in pubs, as surely the viewing angle and glare on screens etc will take away from it; but as far as home viewing goes, this is absolutely where the future is.
I am sure that I'll be watching Brazil 2014 on my 3D telly...I wonder if a quarter final defeat on penalties will hurt less in 3 dimensions?
It started off with some arty shots of dancing and of course the obligatory slow motion wildlife footage...then the sport kicked in. First they tease you with a glimpse of teams walking out at the Emirates (United v Arsenal from this year) until the backing track reaches crescendo and they throw down 4 Aces...
To say it is impressive is to say Kevin-Prince Boateng is off Michael Ballack's Christmas card list. It was absolutely stunning; completely and utterly mind-blowing. The illusion of depth that is created adds so much to the overall picture of the game it's untrue; and the colour/picture is so immersive it makes Pandora look like that bit of Croydon once you go past Forbidden Planet. For any non-Croydon based readers, I think the word is 'shit'.
They had a few neat tricks, such as tennis serves that kick up right out of the screen and a rugby ball tossed down in celebration that pings up into your face; and these were all very cool and novel - but it was the overall level to which it improved the viewing experience which blew me away.
When you go to a live match and sit towards the centre of the pitch, particularly if you are quite high up, it always strikes me how much better you can see the game unfolding than when sat behind a goal or right at ground level. Unfortunately with Saints this often means spotting a pass that our player will never see, or (more often) identifying the player who is about to score against you eons before any of our defenders will ever cotton on.
To me, this 3D viewing did exactly that - and made normal terrestrial football coverage like sitting in Row 1, behind the goal, embracing a pillar.
I am sceptical as to whether it will truly catch on in pubs, as surely the viewing angle and glare on screens etc will take away from it; but as far as home viewing goes, this is absolutely where the future is.
I am sure that I'll be watching Brazil 2014 on my 3D telly...I wonder if a quarter final defeat on penalties will hurt less in 3 dimensions?
Sunday, 16 May 2010
Thursday, 13 May 2010
Commission your own piece of history
This weekend I'll be sharing my Brian Badonde-like gift for artistic genius.
Let me know what you would like to see: a classic World Cup moment, favourite player, goal celebration...and watch as it unfolds before your very eyes in stunning HD.
Let me know what you would like to see: a classic World Cup moment, favourite player, goal celebration...and watch as it unfolds before your very eyes in stunning HD.
Sympathy or Trophies?
Watching Fulham last night, like presumably 99% of the British viewing public I was extremely upset for them when Forlan (those eyes...I'm certain he is a cyborg...so piercing) snuck in to win it.
Immediate reaction to the game amongst the company I enjoyed a few beers and later some therapeutic Pro Evo 4 (still the best, accept no imitations - Pro 2010 my arse) with was along the lines of: fair play to them, what an achievement, good on them for getting so far, what heroes etc etc.
Whilst no one can surely argue that the above points are all true - and anyone who begrudges the absolute football gentleman who is Roy Hodgson his success probably tortures small animals - does it not hint at something which is a curse of the English game?
Fulham have meagre resources in the context of not only their domestic league but also the opposition they vanquished on this epic cup run. They have an inoffensive collection of what seem to be decent, hard-working players who work for each other as a team. No stronger evidence of this could be found than in Zamora clearly playing through the pain barrier for his team-mates (and manfully removing himself from England selection - more on that). They don't over charge their fans and in general we all agree, good luck to them.
However.
When you reach a cup final, you are there for one reason only - to leave with the trophy. I've been to two cup finals: the prestigious FA Cup final, watched by millions, oldest competition in the world etc; and then this year the much less important Johnstones Paint Trophy Final.
I did not 'have a great day out' in Cardiff 2003, because we lost. Wembley this year was fantastic - ironically it really was a great day out; and I am under no illusions to the part that 4 goals and a shiny trophy played in that.
I think that the myth surrounding glorious failure, and the achievement of reaching a cup final in itself is a real poison for the game in this country. Mainly I suppose I am talking about the international game - basically all I've known for England is glorious failure. Middlesbrough, Milwall, Southampton, now Fulham - small clubs who reach a final way beyond expectation and are deemed to have done enough just by turning up. No, no, no - we can win these things, we got there by merit so let's bloody well play like it.
Fulham fans singing 'Stand up, if you still believe' - good on you. Fulham players, this morning, do you really think you did enough, were you just happy to be there - did you still believe?
----------------------
As a final note, this article on Zamora I found extremely impressive.
Quote: 'The World Cup is a massive tournament. It's not about myself, it's about England'. You're absolutely right mate, and with an attitude like that I found myself wishing for the first time that he had been put on the plane. Best wishes to him for a speedy recovery and an improvement on the form he has shown this year, I hope he gets to pull on the Three Lions at some point, as it seems that it would mean as much to him as it would to the rest of us.
Immediate reaction to the game amongst the company I enjoyed a few beers and later some therapeutic Pro Evo 4 (still the best, accept no imitations - Pro 2010 my arse) with was along the lines of: fair play to them, what an achievement, good on them for getting so far, what heroes etc etc.
Whilst no one can surely argue that the above points are all true - and anyone who begrudges the absolute football gentleman who is Roy Hodgson his success probably tortures small animals - does it not hint at something which is a curse of the English game?
Fulham have meagre resources in the context of not only their domestic league but also the opposition they vanquished on this epic cup run. They have an inoffensive collection of what seem to be decent, hard-working players who work for each other as a team. No stronger evidence of this could be found than in Zamora clearly playing through the pain barrier for his team-mates (and manfully removing himself from England selection - more on that). They don't over charge their fans and in general we all agree, good luck to them.
However.
When you reach a cup final, you are there for one reason only - to leave with the trophy. I've been to two cup finals: the prestigious FA Cup final, watched by millions, oldest competition in the world etc; and then this year the much less important Johnstones Paint Trophy Final.
I did not 'have a great day out' in Cardiff 2003, because we lost. Wembley this year was fantastic - ironically it really was a great day out; and I am under no illusions to the part that 4 goals and a shiny trophy played in that.
I think that the myth surrounding glorious failure, and the achievement of reaching a cup final in itself is a real poison for the game in this country. Mainly I suppose I am talking about the international game - basically all I've known for England is glorious failure. Middlesbrough, Milwall, Southampton, now Fulham - small clubs who reach a final way beyond expectation and are deemed to have done enough just by turning up. No, no, no - we can win these things, we got there by merit so let's bloody well play like it.
Fulham fans singing 'Stand up, if you still believe' - good on you. Fulham players, this morning, do you really think you did enough, were you just happy to be there - did you still believe?
----------------------
As a final note, this article on Zamora I found extremely impressive.
Quote: 'The World Cup is a massive tournament. It's not about myself, it's about England'. You're absolutely right mate, and with an attitude like that I found myself wishing for the first time that he had been put on the plane. Best wishes to him for a speedy recovery and an improvement on the form he has shown this year, I hope he gets to pull on the Three Lions at some point, as it seems that it would mean as much to him as it would to the rest of us.
Tuesday, 11 May 2010
The Fab 30...?
So, the 30 preliminary names for Fabio’s squad have been announced, and I can’t say this looks like a team that will win the World Cup to me.
Goalkeepers: Joe Hart, David James, Robert Green.
Defenders: Leighton Baines, Jamie Carragher, Ashley Cole, Michael Dawson, Rio Ferdinand, Glen Johnson, Ledley King, John Terry, Matthew Upson, Stephen Warnock.
Midfielders: Gareth Barry, Michael Carrick, Joe Cole, Steven Gerrard, Tom Huddlestone, Adam Johnson, Frank Lampard, Aaron Lennon, James Milner, Scott Parker, Theo Walcott, Shaun Wright-Phillips.
Forwards: Darren Bent, Peter Crouch, Jermain Defoe, Emile Heskey, Wayne Rooney.
As far as keepers go, I expect David James will start the opening game, and as much as he is a likeable, intelligent bloke (he writes for The Guardian don't you know) with excellent shot stopping abilities and years of experience…you just know he is capable of having one of those headf**k brain aneurisms that will cost us dearly. Spain can pick from Reina, Casillas, Valdes…any one of those three would vastly improve our last line of defence.
Jamie Carragher…no. Sorry, just no. It’s not 2005. He is rightly a hero to Liverpool fans but surely even they will admit this has not been his best season, and I don’t think he should have been brought back into the fold. Why is it that in this country we have to value throwing your body on the line as the ultimate sign of a good defender. Pique’s goal for Barca against Inter could only be scored by Rio in our defensive squad, I can’t think of any other English centre half in my lifetime with that technique; as we only value people who get rid. ‘Ave it.
I think at least once this Summer we will concede a goal of such timeless and epic farce that it will be played for years to come with a Benny Hill soundtrack and cartoon sound effects. Terry, turning and grappling, hands out like a starfish…gets done for pace but what’s this, James has raced 35 yards out of goal to cover…he slips, takes out Deadly Ledley (tournament over), leaving the Slovenian striker to roll into an empty net on account of Ashley’s pre-occupation with the fit girl in Row B. (Slovenians will probably have some fit fans).
I’m glad to see Joe Cole in the midfield – game time or not, he is capable of a bit of class and something different that it sorely lacking in too many of the others. I still firmly believe that Walcott will have his moment and will be a hero in at least one game for England, if he can get a bit of confidence in an early group game this could be his tournament. If he asks Lionel nicely, that is.
Goals…The goal threat in this team starts with an R and looks like a wet potato that rolled across a barber shop floor. Everything that we do should revolve around getting the ball to Rooney in front of goal. If that means putting Heskey in the starting line-up then I say go with it, OK he doesn’t score - but when he plays, Rooney scores. 
I would love for Peter Crouch to start but in international football I find he gets called up for too many fouls that are purely the result of his physique. I hear (via today’s Metro) he is working on something special for his goal celebration though.
My prediction for the unlucky 7 to drop out:
Warnock, Dawson, Barry, Parker, SWP, Huddlestone, Bent
Let me know what you think...
#1: The Dark Side of Simeone
As promised, the first in my limitless collection. If you have a particular World Cup moment you wish to see etched, let me know, all commissions accepted
Monday, 10 May 2010
Ref! Sub Please...Mannsy
Hello world,
I'm a 26 year old failed footballer who has a dream to one day oust Gary Lineker as jug-eared host of Match of the Day. I've got the ears, that's half the battle.
This blog site represents my first steps into the world of creativity; aside from a brief spell as official reporter for my Sunday League team which ended abruptly with a charge of bringing the game into disrepute...no sense of humour, the Surrey FA.
With one month to go until the Best Thing In Humanity (tm) gets under way, I'm going to use this site to share my World Cup thoughts, predictions, memories and more. I've been lucky enough to get tickets to 5 games at the tournament and will be heading out to South Africa to develop this by then wildly successful phenomenon with a front line perspective.
Further to this I'll also regularly share my gift - hand drawn photo like replicas of iconic World Cup moments. Please feel free to download, print off and have turned into t-shirts as you see fit.
I'd love to hear from you unless you are Harry Redknapp, in which case I'd love to hear of your death.*
Cheers, Mannsy
*in case the Surrey FA are reading this - relax, I jest.
I'm a 26 year old failed footballer who has a dream to one day oust Gary Lineker as jug-eared host of Match of the Day. I've got the ears, that's half the battle.
This blog site represents my first steps into the world of creativity; aside from a brief spell as official reporter for my Sunday League team which ended abruptly with a charge of bringing the game into disrepute...no sense of humour, the Surrey FA.
With one month to go until the Best Thing In Humanity (tm) gets under way, I'm going to use this site to share my World Cup thoughts, predictions, memories and more. I've been lucky enough to get tickets to 5 games at the tournament and will be heading out to South Africa to develop this by then wildly successful phenomenon with a front line perspective.
Further to this I'll also regularly share my gift - hand drawn photo like replicas of iconic World Cup moments. Please feel free to download, print off and have turned into t-shirts as you see fit.
I'd love to hear from you unless you are Harry Redknapp, in which case I'd love to hear of your death.*
Cheers, Mannsy
*in case the Surrey FA are reading this - relax, I jest.
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