I'm splitting this into three parts, working our way up the table. In this installment, we'll be looking at the sad losers who I predict will be making up the bottom six come May next year...
First up, the newbies. There is something nostalgic about seeing QPR and Norwich back in the big time together, the first season that I was able to properly follow league football was the inaugural Premier League season, 1992/93. This saw Norwich City finish 3rd, and the highest placed London club that year, Queens Park Rangers, in 5th no less. This time around, almost 20 years on, I fear that neither team will enjoy such dizzy heights.
QPR are, in theory, one of the richest clubs in the world. For reasons unknown, there seems to be something of a reluctance to spend that money, dodgy deals aside, meaning they have not embarked on the widespread squad overhaul as predicted by many when they romped away with the Championship last season. In Adel Taarabt they have the wild card who may prove to Tottenham that he can cut it at the highest level, but could equally flop hard, embodying the unfulfilled potential that seems to be plaguing the club at the moment.
Norwich are a club of more modest means, but by virtue of an impressive fan base and well run board (sherry-addled clueless misguided bints aside) have been able to invest the money that promotion brings through a series of astute looking purchases. The money they have spent is not inconsiderable but whether it is of the quality required, time will tell.
Swansea are the third team to make the step up, and may well be another Blackpool - attractive and enterprising to watch, liked by many neutrals, not afraid to play decent football, recipient of bags of goodwill; but ultimately not able to compete at this level.
Blackburn Rovers have spent most of their energy this summer making awesome/horrendous adverts for chicken. Arguably they should have spent more time and money on improving a fairly uninspiring squad, although the retention of Samba (at present) at least keeps their fairly strong defence intact. However, money talks I guess, so when big boss man says act like a numpty, best you do as you're told. Not the Big Boss Man by the way, just to be clear. I wonder what he's up to now? (Spoiler alert/warning: that link does not bring happy tidings)
We digress...back to Lancashire and another provincial side struggling to compete in amongst the behemoths either side of them is Wigan. I fear the loss of N'Zogbia places too much of a burden on Hugo Rodallega. A good player, doubtless, but shorn of the creative support from Charlie Insomnia and the previously on-loan Tom Cleverley, I do not think he will be able to carry the cause alone. Once he is snuffed out, I fail to see where the threat will come from for the Latics, and there is a chance that this could be when their time runs out. I have been thinking that every year since they got promoted mind you, so what the hell do I know.
Finally we have Wolverhampton Wanderers or 'Oh bloody hell yeah I forgot they were in the Premiership' as they are also known. They have a goal threat, they have a physicality bordering on the criminal, and they have a reasonably impressive spirit. What they don't have is many particularly good football players...
So, those are the unlucky/not good enough clubs whom I predict will experience more riots than cleanups over the coming months. To go all out, see below for my predicted final standings:
15th: Wolves - Mick distracts them from leg-breaking long enough to score the odd goal
16th: QPR - Relegation Machine Colin Wanker breaks his own hoodoo. Taarabt shows up.
17th: Wigan - Despite mid season attendance of 17 (including subs benches) they do enough
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18th: Norwich - Another last day capitulation a la 2005 seals the fate of Original Man U
19th: Blackburn - Indian Proverb: too much chicken make blue and white men fat and useless
20th: Swansea - Enjoy the ride Boyos, it's going to be a short one.
Tomorrow: the also rans...
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