The Subbies 2011/12

The Oscars, the Nobel Prize, the Dundies, the Booker Prize, the Rear of the Year...there are some prestigious awards ceremonies around, make no mistake.  The Subbies however are rightly regarded as the peak of achievement in any field.  Ask anyone who has ever received any of the aformentioned gongs and they'll doubtless tell you that, whilst that recognition was nice, the Subbie is the one award they really want.

So it is then that we move into this years ceremony, reflecting on what was a truly remarkable year in the world of football.  Brand new names on the two biggest trophies available, crazy scorelines everywhere you looked, the emergence of some new stars, the re-emergence of some old ones, and no shortage of scandal and controversy throughout.  Without further ado, let us begin the 2011-12 Sub Please Awards...

Goal of the Season:
Some exceptionally strong candidates this year and for me what was most pleasing was that of the stand-out short list, there were a trio that were sufficiently different from the norm.  There have been some stunning goals such as Van Persie v Everton, Ben Arfa v Bolton and both Rooney and Young v Arsenal...but they were goals we had seen ebfore.  Van Persie did a Bartlett, Ben Arfa did a Dalian Atkinson and so on.  There were three for me though that had that bit of something different.  Luis Suarez's hat-trick clincher against Norwich has been done before, sure, by some bloke who's name I forget back in 96...but at such pace and with such venom on the ball, his vision and execution was superb.  Speaking of vision and execution, Peter Crouch's ludicrous volley against Man City of all people was a thing of spindly awkward beauty.  The set up touch was key for this goal as it showed his intention prior to the actual strike...if this had been instinctive it may have been easier to dismiss as fluke.  A great goal from a player who does not get the recognition he deserves in terms of his technical ability.  The final goal, and the one which takes home the Subbie, is Papiss Cisse's outrageous strike at Stamford Bridge to put the seal on a 2-0 victory.  The only way I can think to describe it is as an absolute bitch slap of a goal.  Slashing across the ball with such power and, crucially, swerve carried with it such glorious disdain for his opponents, for the situation, and for the sheer laws of physics.  The movement on the volley is unlike anything I can remember in Premier League history, starting outside the near post and lobbing the keeper before ending up in the side netting of the far, utterly unsaveable and one which deserves to take it's place among the pantheon of great strikes.

Match of the Season:
Another field here in which we have even truly spoilt with some excellent candidates.  The early part of the season produced some unbelievable score lines, games that will be remembered for many years.  City crushing Tottenham 5-1 at WHL, on the same day as United incredibly smashed 8 goals past a helpless Arsenal, will live long in the memory as a day when all logic and reason flew out of the window.  City went one better on their travels in late October, famously inflicting the heaviest defeat of Alex Ferguson's reign as United manager by winning 6-1 at Old Trafford - how important that goal deluge was in the end of the season reckoning.  City again were involved in one of the most remarkable finishes to a game ever seen (more on that later) but the game that overall I felt was the most enjoyable all year was Chelsea 3-5 Arsenal.  No one-sided thumping, this game seesawed back and forth between the two London rivals until eventually Arsenal came out on top with some excellent Robin Van Persie finishing and of course the amusing spectacle of John Terry slipping and falling on his stupid face.  This game truly showcased the Premier League at it's hyperactive, unpredictable and downright entertaining best.

Moment of the Season:
Absolutely and unequivocally no contest here.  The moment of the season 2011-12 is quite possibly the moment of the Premier League so far.  Never in the 20 seasons of Premier League football, and pretty much never in the entire history of top flight English football before it has there been a moment of such incredible excitement and drama.
There was a video that someone made for YouTube which simultaneously showed the footage from the Stadium of Light and the Etihad, from 90mins onwards.  Split screen, in real time, side by side.  The final whistle goes for Untied at which point they are champions, meanwhile in Manchester Nigel de Jong picks up the ball and feeds Sergio Aguero.  His slick interchange with Balotelli followed by a first touch of unbelievable composure and a second touch finish of sheer power and precision sparked scenes of celebration like nothing else that has been since.  It meant so much, if City had failed at the final hurdle then questions could easily have been raised about their bottle, and whether they will ever be Mancunian top dogs.  The fact they turned it round could mean the beginning of a new era for the Premier League.  The last 5 minutes of Man City v QPR is without a shadow of a doubt the moment of the season, and I (along with Martin Tyler) question if we'll ever see anything like it again.

Player of the Season:
Again we have a few candidates here - cases could easily be made for Wayne Rooney, David Silva, Vincent Kompany, Yaya Toure and also moving down the table the likes of Clint Dempsey, Yohan Cabaye, Grant Holt and Stewart Downing (ahem).  For me though, although all of the above listed players were excellent for the majority of the time, none of them were as singularly important to their team as the winner.  Robin Van Persie, finally benefitting from an injury free season, scored so many vital goals and often posed the only threat in the Arsenal line up.  To carry the ailing team to a 3rd place finish is one hell of an achievement, and whilst it remains to be seen where RVP will be lining up come August, for now he can look back on a season of almost constant brilliance.

Villain of the Season:
A new award introduced as it was impossible to ignore the fact that, sadly, this season contained no small amount of controversy.  Villains of various types were to be found.  Ask Blackburn and Villa fans if they could nominate anyone and you'll very quickly hear the names of Steve Kean, Venky's, and Alex McLeish spat venomously back at you.   Joey Barton continued his stupid antics, and for his idiocy on the last day will now not be seen in the Premier League until November at the earliest.  A minority of Chelsea fans booing a minute's silence for the Hillsborough fans will presumably not be well regarded by most right minded people.  Unfortunately though it was racism which reared it's ugly head again too often this season.  It remains to be seen whether John Terry did in fact (in the eyes of the law) say "I never called you a" before being caught on camera bellowing "f***ing black c***" at Anton Ferdinand.  Either way, not a good look at all.  Speaking of which, fashion faux pas of the century surely goes to the Liverpool FC squad for their spectacularly misguided Suarez 7 t-shirts, in support of their colleague who was convicted by the FA of racially abusing Patrice Evra.  The phantom handshake was a nonsense, and whilst I don't want to get into the shitstorm that is Suarez v Evra (again) I know how I felt at the time seeing Luis Suarez refuse to shake Evra's hand, so he receives the first ever Subbie for Villain of the Year.

Signing of the Season:
If Demba Ba and Papiss Cisse were conjoined twins, it would cause serious headaches not just for the kit man at Newcastle but also for the Sub Please Award Committee.  Ba was electric for the first half of the season but failed to shine after his ANC trip, when Cisse picked up the mantle and took the league by storm thereafter.  Another Newcastle Newbie, Yohan Cabaye, had an excellent season and was signed for a relative snip - you can imagine Ligue 1 chairmen will be ramping up their prices for any English clubs this year, given the flood of interest that Newcastle's successful recruitment drive will have generated.  The player who scored in the Champion's first and last games of the season however gets the nod for me.  Sergio Aguero has had an instant impact on the Premier League, taking no time at all to settle in and has been a torment to defences throughout.  The fact that it was he to score what will surely go down as the most famous goal ever scored in the Sky Blue of City is reason enough alone to give him it, but for his excellent play and tremendous scoring record, Sergio Aguero was worth every penny.

Flop of the Season:
For this award it is tempting to look no further than Anfield.  Further afield fingers could be pointed at Fernando Torres who I for one expected to deliver more than the paltry number of goals that he managed, also bigger things were surely expected of some of Arsenal's imports.  Liverpool spent a lot of money in the Summer though and for that it is questionable whether they have received much value at all.  Jordan Henderson's woeful FA Cup Final display was symptomatic of a season big on effort but low on achievement.  Charlie Adam started brightly but will be expected to improve if he is to demand a place in the team, while Andy Carroll's late season revival is papering over the cracks of what was a poor season for the burly front man.  Stewart Downing however will be haunted by the infamous '0 goals, 0 assists' record which presumably hangs as heavy on his shoulders as those of the Anfield hierarchy who are only too aware of the investment.  Downing's inclusion in the Euro 2012 squad has the potential to make or break him I feel; a good few displays for England and he could return to his club with a new lease of life - anything less and it could be curtains.  Flop.

Manager of the Season:
We've mentioned a few Newcastle players here for various awards but the one thing that really shone through about the Toon Army was the cohesion and balance they displayed as a team.  A unity, a focus, and a strength in almost every position defied the erstwhile image of Newcastle United as a dysfunctional mess of a club.  All credit for this has to go to the man in charge, and Alan Pardew is rightly receiving the recognition that the incredible 5th place finish deserves.  A Subbie to go with his League Manager of the Season award, he'll be delighted.  Honourable mentions for Roberto Mancini in keeping a highly paid squad of superstars happy and focussed even when all seemed lost, and to the fantastic season enjoyed by the two newly promoted clubs Norwich and Swansea - Paul Lambert and Brendan Rogers can look back on a job very well done.

Fair Play Award:
As mentioned last year this award traditionally goes to the fat no hoper who always turns up to training but is sub every week unless some kind of zombie apocalypse has struck.  This year's candidate found himself thrust into a position that we would all accept, but that we may not be qualified or ready for.  Terry O'Connor undoubtedly gave his best as Wolves manager, unfortunately his best was nowhere near good enough.  What earns him the fair play Subbie though is the fact that you could see how much he cared, how much this hurt hi, and how much the poor man must have been struggling to sleep with every passing defeat.  Clearly a nice, likeable man; clearly not cut out for Premier League management.

And Finally Award:
As per every news broadcast ever, we like to finish on a light note, inject a bit of humour to the awards before the tables get moved aside and the DJ drops a bit of S Club 7.  This season saw many things to point and laugh at...Arsenal's defending at Old Trafford; A sour-faced old Glaswegian in a Luis Suarez T-shirt; a chicken in a Blackburn Rovers cape; numerous inexplicable facial expressions from United's Phil Jones; John Terry falling over and of course the split second when those poor United fans heard the earth-shattering news.  For sheer comedy though we need look no further than the moment Gary Neville enjoyed Fernando Torres' goal against Barcelona, just that little but more than is strictly professional.  Take a bow Gary, tek a boo.