Alan Shearer, Pundit Extraordinaire.

There are many, many reasons for me to love Alan Shearer the football player.

His early association with my beloved Southampton started it, and then his unstoppable power taking Blackburn to the title made me like him more - stopping United's domination (albeit briefly) with a ridiculous goalscoring record and a glorious partnership with Chris Sutton. A true classic centre forward, he then went on to enjoy a patch of form where he was arguably the best striker in the world; perfectly this coincided with Euro 96 and all the Baddiel and Skinner soundtracked glory that brought. (reminisces)

He went on to become the world's most expensive player at the then eye-watering sum of 15 million GDP, snubbing United once again to become seemingly the final of the puzzle to take the Toon Army over the line. The fact that he never won a trophy with Newcastle does not taint his career for me, the sheer force of his goalscoring might went on and on for years, such that his all time Premier League goals record looks almost untouchable. His highlight reel stands up to the best: the debut goal for Blackburn, the early hat-trick for Saints against Arsenal, the outside of the boot fourth against Holland, THAT volley at St James against Everton...what a player.

Why then, given my 15 or so years of bromance for Super Al, am I finding him increasingly impossible to tolerate?

His post-playing role finds him (having given management an ill-fated go) as a regular fixture on the pundit's sofa on BBC's Match of the Day. With the years of experience Shearer has of playing at the top level, and the unparalleled insight he can give to the striker's art, he is the perfect foil to the defensive guru Alan Hansen. Able to provide analysis drawn on his vast depth of knowledge, Shearer can point out the things that us watching laymen would never realise, having never played professional football. Show us what the striker should have done, tell us what he will be thinking, explain to us what options he has and how best to burst that net. Truly, Shearer's word on goal scoring is one that I would hang off.

And, friends, here's the problem.

Super Al brings precisely none of that knowledge whatsoever to the role. He apparently thinks his brief is to describe in the most basic of terms the pictures that anyone watching can see with their own eyes. Not to paint a vivid picture for the benefit of the eye-less, no, just to give a very vague commentary of what the screen has already shown. "He's brought it down, a lovely finish and he'll be delighted with that". Thanks. For. That. Shearer seems to comprehend two emotions, that's it, that's all there is in the full spectrum of human feeling: "Delighted", or it's polar opposite: "Disappointed".

To be honest it drives me mad. I struggle to think of another walk of life in which you'd bring in a subject matter expert with vast experience and tolerate conclusions and analysis that any idiot can see. His job, nay, his duty (lest we forget, his wages are paid by the very viewing public he is there to serve) is to actually add something to the show. Instead, he seems to drag the life out of every exchange with his dull, banal stating of the obvious.

The one time that I have seen pundit Shearer in an animated fashion was after England's dismal World Cup exit at the hands of a vastly superior Germany, in Bloemfontein back in June 2010. That is precisely what we want to see - tell us what you really think, don't hide behind platitudes or play it safe: be honest, be engaging and be worth the watch.

I despair mainly due to the potential that is there. Over here in Australia where I am currently exiled, football is very much on the periphery. The weekly highlights show The World Game is firmly of the knowledge that they are not chasing huge ratings, and anyone watching will already be a football fan. With that in mind, they deliver a show geared up to football fans, and their Chief Pundit Craig Foster does an excellent job. In my opinion he puts so many of the Boys Club BBC cartel to shame; with his insightful tactical analysis, forthright opinion and well-researched, knowledgeable approach. Match of the Day seems content with the drivel spouted in between the action, gearing it all up to the casual viewer and leaving the real football fan short-changed and, in my case at least, frustrated.

Is it not reasonable to expect a level of research from Shearer? Is it not also reasonable to expect a level of basic insight about what the pressure on the pitch or in the dressing room can feel like, or what any aspiring striker should be looking to do in their game or to avoid? Maybe I'm being harsh or unfair, after all why should we expect former footballers to be erudite, articulate pundits capable of providing insight? Well, harsh or not, if they can't do it - get them off the bloody screen!!! The insight provided by the likes of Guillem Balague, Gabriel Marcotti and the peerless maestro, AC Jimbo, James Richardson himself; that is the standard of punditry that I feel football fans deserve.

Like I say, since the age of about 4 or 5 I have loved Alan Shearer the football player, and I always will. Shearer the Pundit? Not good enough.

(this post was originally written for www.stateofthegame.co.uk as part of their 'Studio Saints & Sinners' series. Check out the site, loads of writers contributing about all areas of football, plus their readers tend to abuse me a fair bit, quite funny)