Speed: Demons?

Right, straight to it, let's be very clear...when things like this happen, I'm sure we can all agree that the football matches which took place over the weekend take on a different perspective.

I'm referring to the shocking news that I awoke to today and which came to light early Sunday morning in England: the death of Wales manager Gary Speed aged just 42.

There are so many circumstances which made this news instantly inconceivable. A relatively young man. A young man who was clearly in excellent physical fitness, having retired from professional football only 2 years previously. A young man in excellent physical condition with, as evidenced by his regular TV appearances, no apparent debilitating dependency on drugs or alcohol. My first thoughts were simply, how on Earth can someone like that just drop dead? I thought it must be one of those ticking time bomb conditions that can strike at any moment.

Further reports emerged that suggested in fact this was suicide. If true, this simply throws up even more inexplicable questions. A young man with a young family. A person for whom financial security presumably has not been a problem for the last 20 years and will never be. A retired footballer with a career spanning 20 years, with medals, hundreds of appearances, and adoration from fans of all 5 of his clubs. Now an international football manager who, in less than a year, has improved his nation's ranking by 50 places, won half of his 10 games in charge, and brought about a renewed sense of optimism for the forthcoming World Cup qualification campaign. A respected, erudite and articulate football pundit who in his relaxed appearances on Football Focus often brought insight that is sadly lacking from many of the headline pundits around. A bloke who, according to reports from his friends and colleagues, was in good spirits and showing now outwardly signs of distress less than 24 hours before his life ended. With all of the above, what possible reason could there be for Speed to take this unthinkable action?

A couple of days ago I read the following piece, from Stan Collymore, about depression, and was preparing a blog about it. I'll not claim to have ever suffered from depression, because, as Collymore so powerfully asserts, it is a serious illness. I, as I would imagine everyone else, have once or twice in the past had spells where you don't feel good and you can't even say why, but it has always been something that you can snap out of. (No jokes about it being linked to my supporting Southampton please, this is a serious piece..) True Depression though is something far darker and far more insidious than just having a down day. It destroys lives - Collymore is a high profile and tragic case study for this. The ability that he had was never in question, but the support for his illness was, in the blokey world of football, not in great supply. I've never played at any level other than amateur football, but even in my experience I know damn well that the football changing room is not a place where one might seek emotional support to counter mental illness. If Speed was suffering from depression, then all of the reasons listed above are irrelevant, sure he had it all, sure he had 'no reason to feel sad'...that is not how depression works, just ask Collymore.

It is of course conjecture to leap to the conclusion that, if it was suicide, Speed must have therefore suffered from depression. I'm fairly sure the link must be pretty strong, I imagine that to make the choice to take your own life there must seem to be no alternative. That being said, if Speed was suffering from depression, how was he able to mask it so effectively, from colleagues and friends, and also perform so ably in his roles as manager and pundit?

The details will come out, I'm sure. The fact is though, it is ultimately a matter for his family and friends, and the real truth behind it is none of our business. When I refer to 'us' in this instance I'm talking about the wider world of football. We don't need to know the details of his tragic end, what we do need to do is ensure that the details of his marvellous and all too short career are not forgotten. The emotionally charged minute's silence which very quickly became passionate applause at Swansea was a good start.

Gary Speed, 1969-2011, RIP.