Fiji-la-la

Much like Francis Benali's first and only goal for Southampton, my honeymoon has taken far, far too long to come around, but hopefully it is going to just as spectacular. Maybe even more so... but let's not get ahead of ourselves.

Anyway, for the next fortnight I am going to be completely and utterly off the grid, relaxing in Fiji and trying to avoid becoming the latest piece of shark bait. Ergo, this blog is going to go a bit quiet for the next couple of weeks.

To keep you entertained and test my powers of prescience, here is a short list of things I predict will happen in the world of football whilst I'm away:

• England will all but seal qualification to Pukraine with a laboured 3-1 victory over Wales.
• Scott Parker will accidentally injure Gareth Bale, leaving Twitchy McScrotface in something of a pickle.
• The Republic of Ireland will give themselves every chance of joining Capello's men by beating Russia
• Scotland will do nothing of the sort, failing to beat Lithuania and thus ending the tiresome debate around the Czech penalty.
• Southampton will register their first draw of the season, 2-2 with Notts Forest
• Arsenal will drag their battered carcass off the floor and do enough to defeat Swansea, with Arteta putting in an encouraging display in midfield
• Tottenham's poor start goes from not great to slightly worrying when they are beaten by Wolves
• Both Manchesters show the first chinks in their armour, before ultimately prevailing and keeping up the pace with maximum points
• West Ham annhiliate Porstmouth with a clear display of intent for their campaign. Hopefully.
• I manage to find a way, even on a desert island in the middle of the South Pacific, to watch all of the above...

Have a nice couple of weeks!

Southampton will get back